I have always thought that it is the distance that has separated me from my friends. “Long distance relationships never last” A cliche chanted by those who have lost their loved ones to the distance spanning between them. This quote probably applies to friendships as well.
However, I have come to realise that distance is a just a mask over the real enemy, which is time. Friends and lovers drift apart along the seams of time, not because of the physical distance. When someone is alone in a foreign country, he or she probably has more TIME to him/herself to think, about life, what they want ultimately. She can probably think more clearly since the factor of influence has been removed from her vicinity. There is space and time to discover the big differences they have or the similarities that they share. Time in Singapore is just not enough, simply insufficient for us to think quietly about our lives. We just go around in a whirlwind of social activities, gatherings, dinners, movies, work….. It is really too cluttered up to allow our minds the freedom to ponder and reflect on who we are.
If distance mattered, how is it that, some friends, who live in Singapore, which is dreadfully small, just disappear from your lives? Friends, drift away, go about their matters. Well, you probably have not spent enough time with them, to renew the bonds of friendships. It doesn’t have to be physical time, since technology is so advanced. Drop an email, pick up the phone, write a good old snail mail, but most of us just are too lazy and complacent to do it. And as time goes by, this void that the friend left behind, is slowly filled up by other people and matters. What about the joys and laughters that you have shared with them, what about the times that they had lent you a shoulder to cry on? Have you forgotten all that they have done for you? Or have they forgotten everything as well?
I emailed a long time friend, who had sort of drifted away from me. I thought that she wouldn’t remember some of the things that we have said and done, probably about 10 years ago. But she did. This is really heartening. She gave me the hope that some of my long lost friends still do have memories of the times we had shared together.
I say SORRY to all my friends, whom I have allowed to walk out of my life. I have made a promise to myself. This will not happen again.