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Day: June 7, 2004

Just Another Bloody Toe!

Just Another Bloody Toe!

This is the sequel to the “Sweat it Out” posting. It is based on a true story which happened a few hours back. Be forewarned that there will be much blood and gore mentioned, definitely not for the faint-hearted……..

The left toe suffered a crushing defeat by the mightier Asics track shoes. Dejected, it limped off the battlefield covered in blood and bruises. Gungho as usual, it thought nothing of its injuries.

It started off with a little throbbing pain. Within a few days, it escalated into a full-blown pain-in-the-ass (oops, toe) and swelled big time into twice its former self!! It was in such pain that it writhed and thrashed at night, unable to get a decent night’s sleep.

Something had to be done. It didn’t help, with all the horror stories contributed by various helpful sources, e.g. the nail falling off, infection, toe being amputated etc etc.

It decided to seek professional help. It held its breath as the doctor dished out the cure… “please please, not an amputation”. Luckily, it wasn’t beyond healing and the doctor proposed to drain the blood out, instead. Clasping it under firm hands, the doctor wielded a thick, fat needle, which had a hole in the middle. He drilled gently on the top of the nail. In the very instant when the needle broke the bottom surface of the nail, there was a sharp pain which was felt in the very bones and blood spurted out from the miniscular hole. (Just imagine the scene from Kill Bill 1 when Uma started cutting up Lucy’s henchmen. Yeah yeah, the blood spurting scene, as if the limbs were water hoses.) All in all, the doctor drilled 4 holes into the nail and right into the toe, as well. At that very instant, the toe regretted its vanity which led to the battle between the kept nail and the shoe(as always, men seldom escaped unscathed when their kept women were found out).

There was blood everywhere, the napkins were soaked in it. It’s surprising how much blood could gather between that layer of nail and flesh, even though there was a bulging below the nail, where more blood probably gathered. Yucks!

The doctor predicted that there’s a 50-50 chance that it might get to keep the nail. “The nail is just like the hair. You won’t feel any pain if it falls off. REALLY!!!” the doctor comforted the toe, as it looked at him in horror. What… no more nice nail polish (on what?! if the nail falls off?!), no more nice open toe sandals… WHy… this spells the end of life for the vain toe. Alas, to keep its life (and save itself from being amputated), it meekly submitted to the doctor’s advice.

Once again, pedicures and sports don’t go together. Take heed of this advice, or you will regret as deeply as the repentent toe.