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Day: 2 June 2004

Changes Changes Changes

Changes Changes Changes

Just 3 months away and everything changes. The Blogger website now looks totally different, more user friendly with a far cooler interface. I have yet to explore the new features.

Why am I back?

1. I have received loads and loads of fan mails and smses begging me to bring them their daily entertainment tit bit. (Ha! Like real!)

2. My computer suddenly sprang back into life after months of hibernation.

Well, believe me, I was just bullshitting you.

The real reasons:

1. I am experiencing an extreme emotion.

2. I have a computer nearby.

3. I have stopped procrastinating.

Have you ever felt so angry that you feel blood gushing up your head, your ears, to the ends of your hair? Well, I have and pretty often. I find myself experiencing the outbursts more and more often, and rather difficult to keep it under control. Well, I have always been hot tempered but this is way too often for comfort. I like to attribute it to my thyroid condition which is messing up my hormonal balance. However, this in a way is also worsening it. Chicken and egg problem.

When I feel the heat climbing up my neck, I tried counting to keep it down. Recently, it seems to have lost the desired effect. Maybe I should start counting sheep, even if it doesn’t work for insomnia. Damn damn damn, I hate that feeling, the feeling of losing control, as I feel the heat creeping up, my heart making little staccato beats and tears forming behind my eyes. I despise people who make a scene in public and yet I’m turning into one.

Maybe I should start picking up yoga. Breaking my bones (trying to perform those yoga stunts) certainly beats losing emotional control. Sigh… I have a bad bad feeling that my thyroid blood count this time round will swing way out of range again and the dosage will have to be increased. Why me?!