Deadly Stares

Deadly Stares

Don’t people know that it is impolite to stare, with 2 eyes (oh yeah, luckily humans have only 2) unblinkingly at others?!

I can understand that I am some sort of a novelty when I visit little rural villages in Europe and probably, most Japanese tourists (Oh yes, I am sick of the ‘moshi moshi’ that locals smartly throw at me! Let me clarify, I am definitely not a Japanese!) do not trek through these dirt tracks. They do stare, very briefly at me before looking away. Well, at least they have the decency to shift their line of sight and manage to look guilty for it.

As for my reaction, that really depends on my mood, whether it is a joyous day or a bad hair day (which is more often the case, figuratively and literally, when they defiantly persist in unruly curls and haphazard spikes, which tonnes of water, gel, brushing can never discipline.) On a smiley day, I will ignore them, IF, it doesn’t reach an excessive level. On the days when I get off the wrong side of the bed (you see, my bed is against the wall, so there can only be one correct side and to get off by the other way will produce disastrous results.), they will receive a double (or is it triple? I can never be sure.) dosage of rude stares back, with raised eyebrows and insolent tilt of my eyes (Believe me, I have had years of practise with it. Ask Nick.) Right there and then, a glorious battle of stares will take place. (Lethal staring is a high possibility for fist fights) I will stare till the other party drop their eyes and scuttle away in defeat. The triumph simply makes my day. Ah! The little joys in life!

Recently, I visited a trade fair in Munich, an international one. A weird phenomenon – I received stares from the Asians and not from the rest of the world. Is it because Asians simply have an insatisfiable sense of curiosity that extends to the looks of their fellow ethnic group members? Don’t I have 2 eyes, 2 ears, 2 nostrils, one mouth, the same slanting eyes and black hair (ok ok it is a little reddish, but that can’t account for the total number of stares). I hate it when people stare at me, have I grown horns on my head or mushrooms on my face? Hardly not, since I am a regular humanoid and I do bathe everyday.

Therefore, I can only conclude that Asians can be so very rude and the best thing is, they do not seem to feel any remorse in this impolite act! As you can imagine, 8 hours of walking through the halls (and still unable to cover all grounds), 40% of the people were Asians (be it exhibitors or visitors), I had the time of my life practising my piercing stares (I am sure, by now, I have mastered a module in the art of ESP – Eye power, and be able to drill a hole in steel with a flick of an eye. Now, let me find a sheet to practise…). It sort of relieved the weariness from the endless trek through the uncountable halls. There! I derive joys from the pains of others. A perfect definition of a sadist. But, I LOVE IT!

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