My One Cent Worth of Thoughts

Darn! Who is the idiot pressing my doorbell as if it is mousey’s left button?? Leaving behind a pot of boiling soup and a pan on fire, I grabbed a coat, struggling with it, as I slipped my stubby feet into the slippers and rolled down the stairs in E=mc2 speed, across the front yard, right to the gate. The postwoman was waving a package excitedly, while I rolled up my sleeves to kill her. “Pooosttt…!!! Unterschreiben Sie hier bitte!” sang the victim. I swung the pot at her puny head and murdered her on the spot!

Well, of course not, being my usual hypocritical self, I plastered an engaging smile on my face, gently took the electronic device from her, signed with a flourish.

“Viele Dank!!!”

I stomped up the stairs, to find my whole kitchen on fire! Oh well, that was an exaggeration. Please ignore me.

I tore the wrapping off and ta da! The long awaited broadband password and software! Deprived for a long time for fast speed internet access, I connected all the hardware in an amazing speed, for a slowpoke like me. As people put it, when they meet the loves of their lives, they have never looked back since. Me too! Now, that was Friday. It is Thursday today.

Since last Friday, I have been obsessed with it. Aha! My Kazaa (the most popular p2p software, ever since my beloved Radiogalaxy was dissected by those hated American copyrights people. R.I.P.) can finally come into play. Download MP3s, movies, animes, whathaveyous… Every minute, every second, I was searching, downloading, watching… And before I know it, it is already Thurday!. Har?! Where has the whole week gone?! No blogs written, emails unread, plates and clothes unwashed, unironed, floor uncleaned, hamster unfed! I just checked it this morning, still alive, just looked a little skinnier though. There is another story to that stupid hamster… next topic.

Basically, there was nothing in my life for the last 1 week, but internet work, eat sleep, internet work eat sleep…. Gosh, I have turned into one of those geeks I despised during my schooldays! No way!

Internet limit per day : 1 hour, hmm.. nope, 2 hours.. ok ok 3 hours ! Last offer, no bargaining! 3 hours then.

You put a bunch of people and a lot of tape together, what do you get?! VOILA! You get human lizards! I wonder if 3M will turn this ‘innovation’ into money churning business.

Sometimes, I marvel at my own multitasking skills. Although, they are not as well-honed as a typical Pentium 4, but not too bad for flesh and blood. Unless I am a cyborg then. (Argh! Too much Science Fiction!) 2 tables of internet mahjong, eating grapes, listening to mp3, writing blog. Therefore, as you might have guessed, I am not doing too well a job at any of them. I have lost miserably at one of the mahjong tables. Luckily, the other one looks rather promising, with me leading for the last 3 rounds. Arh! What a lousy entry…. I guess I can’t really multitask when there is a need for depth of thought. (Right, you never knew that I am a person of depth?!) ~~~ My 1/2 cent worth of thoughts!!~~~ * Only half a cent left.

I have just gone through my last few posts. Gosh! A whole lot of complaints! I am not really such an unhappy person, am I?!

New resolution of the year : Think happy thoughts, write happy posts, be happy!

This day would have been perfect, if not for the freezing temperature of 5 degrees outside (it should have been at least 15 degrees!!), tonnes of work… ooops. I mean.. What a beautiful day this is, look at the little birds, so enthusiastically freezing in the cold. A lot of work is good, so that my brain juices can be kept flowing and I wouldn’t be senile in my twilight years..

Gosh! Ain’t I cheerful today?!

Ah Hah! A mail from the blog website. Oh well, usually, I receive only insulting mails from friends or questionable ones from anonymous people, who probably have horrible names and are too embarrassed to put them down. The mails that I hate most, second to spams, are anonymous mails! What is wrong with these people!? Do they have an unspeakable past, present or future?

Ok, ok, enough about them. Today, I received my very first fan mail, from a stranger named Diana. Thanks Diana! You have made my day! I shall endeavour to write more undepressing (har?! Is there such a word??) blogs, throw myself into work with abandon and be a good employee for today.

1. Open one eye… feel around the refridgerator.. waffles waffles… where are you? Grin stupidly. There you are! Sluggishly tug the bag… Jam jar slide, slide, sliding… Oh Shit! Open both eyes!… piang!! %@%!%#@ Totally awake now… Pick up the glass bits.. curse and swear… wipe the floor.. pray that there are no more glass splinters on the floor.

2. Damn damn! stupid jar! 10 minutes late. At the door. Stare at empty space. My driver drove off without me. Drizzling, cold. Sigh big time. Ride bicycle to work. Hands freezing, me wet.

3. Stupid computer, still drunk from the coke it drank last Friday.

4. Great. They have finished assembling my parts. At least one thing did not go wrong today. Hum happily. Pick up the fixture. Pins, glass and eyelets start trickling through the gaps. Sheisse! Ah Wei, you bloody idiotic moron! Find the nice lady who assembled the parts for me smoking at the stairways. In broken German, Erm.. I .. didn’t know that .. .. the parts fell out… erm.. sorry… Manage to look utterly pathetic and apologetic. Nah.. Don’t worry! I will assemble them again Brighten up! You.. you will? Phew.. If I have to assemble them myself, that will probably take 8 hours. Wipe sweat off brow.

5. Relieved, walk to the stairs to go back to the office. Aaarrhh… ouch.. !!! Slip and fall. Sit on my ankle. Look wonderously at twisted ankle. This is really my day. Same old ankle which I sprained 3 weeks ago and still hasn’t healed. Pick up ankle, twist it back into place. Stagger down the stairs.

6. Yes.. Lunchtime! Dig around the bag. Pour content of bag onto table. ARGH! Where’s my lunchbox!! From the corner of my eye, I see it still lying on the kitchen table. Prima!

I can just see the beginning of a great new week.

NB : The above story and characters are purely not ficticious.

This•is•just•great! My•laptop•said•it•was•thirsty. So, being•a•kind•owner, I•satisfied•its•demands. See•what•happened… It•got•so•sick, that•it•became•dysfunctional!!! This•is•agonizing, forming•words, character•by•character, with•a•mouse•and•the•charactr•map. Moral•of•the•story — Never•give•in•to•a•computer!!!

This is an amazing little town, the one I live in. They do not have self operated washing machines at all, except for the laundry shops which charge about 3 euros for washing one shirt. Duh!!! I will probably be so broke that I have to hike back to Singapore on foot.

“Does everyone have one at home?? I asked my landlord, “Are you going to bring a washing machine here?”

“No…”

“Are there any washing salons in this town?”

-Blank Look-

“So what do you suggest I do with my clothes?” Fold arms.

“You can use the washing machine in my house.”

“So.. Where do you live?”

He pointed to some *ulu location on the map. “There!”

Ok, great, that would be one hour’s bicycle ride from here. Just great.

So what do all these have to do with the Thurday night movie? Be patient, the best things come last.

That solution didn’t really appeal to me, so I ended up handwashing my clothes everyday! Yes, me! You can’t believe it? Neither can I! This must be retribution!

A guy, I knew from Mainz (the town where I first worked in), came along and moved into the house next to mine. As you could have guessed, he didn’t have a washing machine as well. They should do something with the rental contracts in this town!!! Anyway, after a wild goose chase in vain, we decided to request for the use of the washing machine (one and only one which is coin operated) in the basement of the building in which the company apartment was located.(Please do not ask me, why they didn’t put me there in the first place, to save me all the trouble!).

Thursday, yesterday was Thursday. There was only one machine between the 2 of us!? Each cycle takes about one hour!!! Resigned, we sat down on the laundry room’s floor. Stupid me didn’t bring any entertainment, all I had in my bag was washing powder, a few coins and my cell phone. Thank goodness, the radio on the cell phone worked. He read an Ikea magazine from head to toe, left to right, whatever for at least 30 minutes. I was going to borrow the mag from him and read for myself, what was so interesting in it. Not only that, It didn’t help, that the laundry room was in the basement, stuffy, smell of washing powder, wet clothes, cold floor etc…People kept popping their heads in and giving us wierd looks, wondering what 2 idiots were doing, one reading an Ikea mag, the other playing games on the cell phone…..in the laundry room.

Next week, there will be 2 loads of clothes and that will take 2 hours at least! *Shiver* I have decided to make a contribution by bringing my laptop and vcds. We have decided to entertain ourselves by watching old movies .. IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM! So tune in next Thursday for ‘You’ve Got Mail!’ (I have watched this like 3 times already!!!!!)

*ulu (Malay) = Deserted (English) = Niao Bu Shen Dan, Birds don’t lay eggs (Chinese)

~~~ Tune in the Channel Laundry Room for the hilarious comedy, starring Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. Please go to the IMDB Website for reviews. ~~~

Yawn!

The morning is not so good afterall. Due to bleary eyes and shivering fingers…. here comes the pointy points…

1. Every morning, I swear to myself, that I will sleep at 10pm that very night, or I will be a $%§%$§%$” (You guess the meaning.)

2. 9.45pm Oooh! Another 15 minutes…. Surf net…

3. Hmm… The computer screen seems to be moving…

4. Looks up at the clock.. Oh damn! Midnight! When did it become midnight! It was just 9.45 a minute ago!

5. Power off, toilet business, brush teeth, wash face, remove my thick spectacles, plomp into bed (oh! I forgot the lights!), look at clock, argh, 1210!

6. Eyes shut, poof!

7. RRRRRIIIIIIINNNNNNNGGGG!!!!!! BBBBBEEEEEPPPPP!!!!! BBBBRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! (The sounds made by 2 alarm clocks, 1 watch, 1 handphone, which includes vibrating).

8. Hhhuuuhhh…. It’s morning already?

9. Brings clock within 1mm of eyes, force them open… OH SHIT! 6.20!! OH no Oh no… They are supposed to ring at 6!!!! Stupid clocks!

10. I swear to myself I will sleep at 10pm tonight or I am a %$%&§%$&§. That reminds me… get another alarm clock.