My One Cent Worth of Thoughts

Have you been to seminars/workshops/lectures? I would assume so. I have been to tonnes of them.

Another observation : Have you ever noticed that people walk in and out of the room during the session?

Observation #3 : The strange thing is, they simply refuse to use the backdoor, but would prefer to do that right before a hundred pairs of eyes.

Observation #4 : Not only that, they always perform this weird movement of lowering their heads or hunching their backs as they stride across the room.

Observation #5 : Gosh! Some genie must have taught them that! That is, by hunching your back or lowering your heads, you would either become invisible or shrink to a miniscular size and nobody will notice you sauntering across the room.

The Bad News : Well, it certainly doesn’t work. Despite all the hunching, lowering, attempts to run across with lightning speed, we still see them…… BIG as life. Would someone please tell them so that they will stop embarrassing themselves in front of a huge audience and in public??

The lunchtime (or dinnertime) topics revolve around babies, babies and more babies! Argh!!! I think I will go mad if I were to hear more about what to eat, what not to eat during pregnancy down to which milk pump to use. Can you beat that?! Anyway, right after a girl gets married, the next most exciting thing would be to have a baby after the whirlwind of marriage.

One of my friends, who’s currently pregnant, commented,”There are a lot of pregnant ladies around. I was waiting for my friend for lunch at the junction and boy, do I see MANY pregnant women waddling around!!” I told her that it’s because she’s in a similar condition, therefore she noticed this.

It’s just like…. before you buy a car, yeah, you vaguely know that Singapore roads are congested, especially when you are in a rush (Notice how all traffic lights are red and lifts are always at the top floor when you are in a hurry. sheesh…). But after you have bought a car, you notice that, “Hey! Toyota is such a popular brand (you pat yourself on your back, good buy!!) that everyone on the road is driving one! (Down with Honda! Down with erm.. Mitsubishi etc) And a Silver one at that!!!!”

Strange! Suddenly the whole world is filled with pregnant women and silver Toyotas!!!!!

Hey! Everyone’s using an IBM laptop after I bought one! That’s a brilliant buy there, Ah Wei!

The biggest news in the Straits Times in the last few days was, and still is, the arrest of CAO CEO Chen Jiulin for fraud and insider trading. Everyone I know, knows someone who has lost money from the CAO stock crash just a few months back. It was pretty easy to tell… the people who were going around, muttering to themselves, with knitted eyebrows, on the very day, when news of suspension of CAO stock trading was announced.

However, they soon pushed it to the very back (this little dark closet, into which they stuff unpleasant experiences and conveniently forget about them) of their minds and happily continued with their stock market trading. Sigh.

One of the stock trading books says, “if you find the aunties and uncles at the fish market passing each other tips on stock trading, it’s time to get out of the market….”

Doesn’t this look familiar to you? Yep yep! It’s a typical stock chart! What do you mean, it looks ugly! I drew that myself!! Can you imagine the pain I had to go through to draw this chart, using the Paint software and a touchpad?? The cramp my poor fingers had to go through!!

Anyway, as I was saying…. Do you see the tiny red arrow squiggle? Right, that’s the point where instituitional investors inject their huge amount of funds. As a result, it drives the price up sharply.

At this point, dealers, research analysts saw this and quickly put in their own trades. Sorry, minus the research analysts, that would constitute insider trading… So, the dealers put their $$ in.

In the middle of the night, Ah Wei is awakened by the incessant ringing of the phone. It’s Ah Wei’s stock dealer on the phone,”Hey! Hot tip hot tip! Stock ABC is shooting up. Put your money in!!!” Overwhelmed by gratitude and appreciation (Dale Carnegie, my idol, says that you have to show gratitude and appreciation so that people will work harder for you…), Ah Wei puts a hell lot of $$ into ABC and falls back to sleep. Therefore, the price goes up even higher, as all the sleepy Ah Weis throw their money in.

The news spread like wildfire…. The next day, Ah Wei goes marketing and overhears the auntie at the fish stall tell the ah ma at the pork stall,“Waa! Hot Tip! My son’s dealer called him in the middle of the night to put in $$ for ABC! Waaa!! Guess what! This morning, the ABC REALLY go up by 100 points!!!! Eh! You want to put $$ in? I’m going to look at the tv screen (she’s referring to the updating of the stock prices at the dealing companies), then I’m going to put in all my savings! Won’t go wrong wan!!!!” So Auntie and Ah Ma go hand-in-hand to watch “tv” and put even more money in!!!

Satisfied with the earnings, now that price of ABC has shot up all the way to the sky, the big instituitional investors decide to perform a massive sell action. With the exit of such a huge amount of fund, the price plunges……… while the aunties and uncles are rejoicing in their sleep over their good buy.

The dealers are alerted to the sudden plunge, so they save their own skins first by quickly selling their shares. “Heng! At least i have made a bit of profit! Oh yeah! Have to call up Ah Wei to tell her about this!!”

Awakened in the middle of the night by the irritating telephone ringing again. Damn! I should have unplugged the phone before I sleep. “What.. what?! Sell!? Stock is plunging?! ok ok! Sell everything for me!!!” Ahhh!! There goes my investment! Have to start saving up again!

Some days later, when Ah Wei goes marketing, the fish stall is closed and another ah ma is selling pork at the stall…. The newspapers are splashed with stories of people turning into paupers overnight… people jumping off high rise buildings…. The red skull (Is my drawing so bad that you can’t tell that it’s a skull!!!! ok ok, you have to remember that I draw it with a touchpad….)signifies an end…

Therefore, when everyone is buying a certain stock, it’s time to move out….

He he… It’s easier to preach and practise…. Take the advice at your own risk.

I have just finished the first chapter of Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends & Influence People”, in my endeavour to become a better person. One gold nugget which I have gleaned from the first few pages is :

Don’t criticize, condemn or complain – Dale Carnegie
In front of the said person. – Ah Wei

By criticizing people, according to Dale, would not turn them towards the right path, but would only fuel their determination to go against you. Ahh…! Therefore, never never never do that.

On the other hand, if you are not honest with yourself, you will probably suffer internal injuries from suppressing your feelings. Mark Twain (if you do not recognise this famous author, you have just earned the right to kick yourself in the butt, as I was saying… ) had a fiery hot temper and had written stinging letters to people who have incurred his wrath. They allowed him to let off steam (saving himself some internal injuries) and the letters did not do anyone any harm, because his wife had secretly lifted them from his mail. See, they were never sent.

From this excellent example, I conclude that, it’s alright to criticize, complain and condemn people, so that you don’t go crazy from suppressing your feelings, as long as the said people are unaware.

Therefore, to be a better person, I shall continue to criticize, complain and condemn people (it’s stressful to work in little Old Singapore) behind their backs, as long as they are unaware of it!

Thanks Dale!

Rubbish is taken very seriously in Germany, where I have stayed for a year. The green glass bottles go into one bin, white ones another, plastic stuff in yet another and paper ones are stacked up on top of others. There! Every rubbish has its own special place. You can even bring your glass bottles back to the supermarket in exchange for money!

During one of the “cultural exchange” moments, my German colleagues were wow-ing over Singapore’s amazing invention – the fabulous Rubbish Eatosaurus. Singaporeans just need to open the Rubbish Eatosaurus, either concealed in their kitchen somewhere, or situated near the lift, flick the waste in and presto! Everything’s taken care off. Then the waste travels down the magic tunnel and little elves clear them early in the morning and melt away in the beams of dawn before any Singaporean awakens. Magical eh?

YET, more than a few times, I have discovered rubbish in the lift!!! Is the magical Rubbish Eatosaurus not enough for these Singaporeans?! Do they need to treat the elevator as one as well?! Or maybe their hands were so wasted that they had not the strength to open the door of the Eatosaurus, and yet had the energy to truck the rubbish to the elevator and pile them in a corner.

Strangely, after 1 day, the rubbish also mysteriously disappeared. Must have been those hardworking elves. It would have been heaven’s justice if the elves could wave their arms and teleport the “rubbish” back to the culprit’s home. Hmm… where would be a great place to leave them? *ponder* How about smack right in the center of their living room, so that it can be admired from all angles?