My One Cent Worth of Thoughts

I HATE THIS!!!!

Shaky hands. Poor aiming. Bad eyes.

I am putting together more than a hundred teeny weeny parts… each measuring about 1-3mm. Wish me luck.

Burp! Too much carboloading during lunch. With a less-than-8-hours sleep per night, that really doesn’t help at all. I think the most agonizing thing in the world, is to brutally force yourself awake, when all you wan to do, is to throw yourself on the table and shut yourself out from the waking world.

Remedies (that sometimes work, but most of the time, not.)

1. Eat choc to pump more sugar content into your blood.

2. Drink Red bull. (Yucks, even the name sounds horrible. I have never tried it before, but some people swear by it.)

3. Drink Cola for caffeine loading. (I personally do not think it helps at all, but I do so like its taste.)

4. Drink a lot of water at 10 minutes intervals. ( This will lead you to the next point)

5. Get yourself into the toilet, shut the door, pull the toilet bowl seat down, plomp yourself on it and catch your 40 winks.

6. Talk to your colleagues. (Especially the good looking ones.)

7. Stick self drawn eyes on paper on your eyelids. (Personally I think no sane person, except for the much idolised *Stephen Chow, will do that. 2D eyes do not look too real after all. Try getting some glass eyeballs, you know, the kind that they use for stuffing animals. Stuff them into your eyes and pray that your real ones will not be displaced.)

8. Prop your eyelids up with toothpicks. (I have seen people piercing every part of their bodies. This might start a new trend of eyelid piercing.)

9. Slap your face. Ouch!

10. Throw water on your face. Works miraculously for 10 minutes. Ladies wearing makeup, especially mascara, beware! You do not need 2 black beauty streaks down your cheeks.

11. Take the day off and sleep comfortably in your own little bed. I think this should be the best solution of all. But for leave scarce people like me, this is unthinkable.

12. Drink coffee or tea. It doesn’t work for me and I do not really like the taste of coffee.

13. Write blogs. (That is what I am doing right now.)

* Stephen Chow is a highly acclaimed comedian in the Hong Kong movie scene. He is especially idolised by the men, old and young, in the world. The amazing thing about his films, is that, it has an hypnotic effect on the male species, who are able to quote the lines from any of his movies anytime. Males tend to have an inclination of rolling on the ground, laughing and clutching their bellies (it is amazing that they have not laughed their guts out.), during the screenings of allhis movies. His antics, e.g. talking to a cockroach, are generally imitated by the less fairer sex, but found to be in poor humour by the rest.

Oh well, I have received complaints from my fans that the last few articles were too serious. They were looking forward to reading lighthearted and happy ones, but instead they faced morbid and pessismistic thoughts. Life is already hard enough, so why make it worse? Ok ok, I will write happy little muses from now on. First, they complained that the articles were too short, then, they complained that they were too sad. What next?! I wonder.

“I like talking to a brick wall, I find it is the only thing that never contradicts me.” – Oscar Wilde

I have stumbled across a website housing the famous quotations of Ah Oz. I shall refrain from mentioning his chauvinistic ones on women. I guess he did not like criticism much, since the brick wall was the only thing he could communicate with.

As for me, well, yes, I talk to brick walls too. However, it is all for a totally different reason. In the roomy big rooms, there is no one, but me. As soon as I step through the door, I switch on all the lights and turn on the television or laptop for some background noises. Probably, I am someone who cannot live in silence or isolation.

On some of the days, which are non-working periods for me, not a single word passes through my mouth. Sometimes, I even forget that I have a voice. The telephone rings, after 3 days of keeping mum, I manage to squeak a little “Hello”. Very often, I cannot remember what my very own sweet voice sound like. How tragic!

Friends will be surprised to hear this, for they think that I am one of the most talkative people in the world. With no company to converse with, I am starting to talk to the walls in my apartment. Much as I want it to hold a proper conversation with me, it never talks back, contradicts or even compliments. Why would any sane person do that? This probably came out of boredom and isolation.

Once I am done talking to all the walls in the rooms, I will start with the characters in the television. I guess they make better conversationalists than Bricky. Therefore you see, living alone is not exactly a bed of roses (Forgive my cliché!). However, it might be a good thing for me, because I am saving up my voice to plague everyone when I get back to Singapore. Ho ho ho!

Z, just what are you? Some people call you Zee and some Zet. But, I prefer to call you the Zee Monster.

Are you punishing me for not spending enough time with you for the last few weeks? I just cannot resist your reproachful look. Even my cute Tom Cruise lookalike colleague pales beside your presence, for I just have to leave him for mere seconds, just to be by your side.

Frankly, I think being with you is an awful waste of time, and yet I simply cannot live without you. Aye, how weak my resolution is. But, i beg you, please give me some space, some time to myself. I will come to you when I am ready.

MEANWHILE, LEAVE ME ALONE!!!! YOU MONSTER!!! I WILL NOT GIVE YOU THE SATISFACTION OF WATCHING MY BOSS SACK ME FOR SLEEPING DURING WORKING HOURS!!! SO THERE!!!

Picture this scenario :

A pair of cuffs, clasped tightly across his wrists. The cuffs and the chain were brown with rust and stiff with age. The metal rings clinged noisily as he stretched for the computer station. The station stayed just beyond the tips of his fingers, the distance restricted by the chains around the pole. A man in brown robe sat calmly opposite him, The whip cracked and snapped on his arms, at the first touch of the keyboard., Then the chains were shortened, increasing the distance between him and the computer. All around him, other little boys were playing Counterstrike and other network games on the LAN servers. He looked longingly at the people around, as music and dialogues blasted through the speakers. He wept in his hands.

Food and water were brought to him regularly. But, one week later, he was found lying on the floor, still and motionless. BORED TO DEATH!!

Sigh! I see myself in him. I have a great broadband network, a fast computer, and all my work have been finished. But, I can only sit and stare crosseyed at my laptop. BORED TO DEATH.

Hey gals and boys! I a…m…. BaCk iN AcTiOn!!!

My holidays are finally over and I am back in good o’le Germany. I am very sorry for the long wait, perk up your spirits and get ready for more crappy tales and corny stories. Well, this is the good news, now for the bad ones.

The company has just slapped us with a memo, prohibiting the usage of the internet for the use of personal recreation during office hours. Oh well, I will just have to either sleep a little less and crawl to the office earlier, or type the articles on the word document and post them onto the blog with lighting speed (Awww!! How cliche!).

However, despair not, I will risk my arms, legs and my mundane job to keep everyone (hopefully) entertained!

~~~ My One Cent Worth of Thoughts!! ~~~

P.S. I hate this Germand keyboard. Everything is in the wrong position!! Grrr….!!!

1. I get to slim down and burn some fats off (from sitting on a chair??!!).

2. I look really busy, as if I am working through my lunchtime.

3. I can save money and stomach space for a bigger dinner! (Yeah!)