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The FART! Ewww…!

The FART! Ewww…!

POOOooooo….t!!

Me : Ewwww! What was that?!

小小宝贝 :A fart. (Without batting an eyelid)

Me : Who did that? (There were only 2 of us in the room. And it wasn’t me….)

小小宝贝 :(Nonchalantly lining up his toy cars in his OCD way) It’s Jie Jie. (Big Sister)

Me : How can that be?! Jie Jie is in school now.

小小宝贝 :(Still keeping his straight face) She farted very loudly in school so we can hear it here.

Me : =.=” (Poor, innocent, maligned Jie Jie) Little boys who tell lies don’t get to eat muffins.

小小宝贝 :(giggling cheekily) Mama it’s me, not Jie Jie! I farted!! See so loud! Can I have a muffin please?

Sigh… Things he does for food… Greed rules….

cheeky, food smeared face…
The Story of the Missing Raisin – 小小宝贝

The Story of the Missing Raisin – 小小宝贝

My not-so-new New Year resolution is to blog more… I do have a lot which I want to share, but I simply must pen them down before I forget them!!

Somehow, when 小小宝贝 first learnt about numbers, he had decided to adopt “8” as his favourite number and thus, til today, everything comes in eights…. not 7, not 9, but 8!!!

小小宝贝 : (pushing his raisins around his bowl with his finger) Mama, you didn’t give me 8 raisins! (in his loud, indignant, righteous voice!)

Me : Of course I did! I counted them as I put them into your bowl.

小小宝贝 : No you didn’t!!

Me : count them yourself! I gave you 8! And that’s it! No more raisins!!

小小宝贝 : ok! I’m counting!! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7… 9!! See!! You didn’t give me 8 raisins!! No. 8 is missing!!! (glared at me as thought it’s my fault!!)

Me : No…! After 7 is 8!!! Not 9!

小小宝贝 : You didn’t give me 8 raisins!!

Me : …… (Trying to pull a fast one on me!!) It should be 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8! See! 8!

小小宝贝 : It’s 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, and this is no. 9!! No. 8 is missing!

Me : Ok.. since this is raisin no. 9, so it’s not raisin no. 8. Correct??

小小宝贝 : (nodded his head fervently)

Me : ok. (popped raisin no. 9 into my mouth) No more raisin no. 9.

小小宝贝 : Noooo…..!!!! YOU ATE MY RAISIN!!! RETURN ME MY RAISIN!!!!!

Me : (I can’t believe this is over one tiny piece of dried up fruit.) See… now it’s 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8! 8 raisins!!

小小宝贝 : Nooooo…!!! You ate my 8th raisin!!!! (Wailed as though I had killed his mother… )

Me : Shall I return you raisin no. 8??

小小宝贝 : (nodded tearfully)

Me : there! Raisin no. 8. Are there 8 raisins in the bowl now???

小小宝贝 : (nodded but still giving me the evil eye…)

Mama 1- 小小宝贝 0

It’s all about Maths, baby! 

 

Greedy Toddler

 

And So.. Humpty Didi Had A Bad Fall…

And So.. Humpty Didi Had A Bad Fall…

All it took was a slippery ground after water play and the metal floor track of the sliding door. Humpty Didi slipped and landed his shin on the metal track. 

He said that he cried “not very loudly” and no one paid him any attention so he picked himself up and limped into the classroom. 

My heart went out to him when I heard it. The teachers probably didn’t think much of it since he didn’t bawl his eyes out. But he was unable to rest his weight on his left leg. 

I googled his condition online and read that there’s a possibility of toddler fracture (hairline fracture). 

   
 
Still as cheeky as ever. 

Ming Ming : Caroline’s 奶奶 (grandmother) said I’m buat Toh (with an English slang). But, Mommy, I’m not Buat Toh. I’m Cheng Ming!! (Indignantly)

*Buat Toh is hokkien for fall down. 

The Last Time

The Last Time

We have a no-gadgets rule when we are around the children at home.  I can totally understand the agony a drug addict goes through when he goes cold turkey.  Thank goodness it’s not for the whole day. Initially, when the children demanded my attention, I would be thinking,” Aiya… Hurry up! Go and sleep! So that I can get back to my cyber life on the phone!” Bad Mommy here!

The good news is, it only takes a few days of conditioning before I was weaned off that attitude.  They grow up so very quickly.  My little 宝贝口水妹 will be attending primary school next year and my 小小宝贝 has already turned two! Where has all the time gone!? 小小宝贝 giggles and rolls around when I tickle him.  It’s still a novel sensation for him. 宝贝口水妹 pushes me away and glares at me, “Mama! I don’t like it!” She used to giggle and roll around when she was a tot. Sigh…!

So now, I treat every experience like it’s the last, because they outgrow it so very fast!! One day, he will stop caressing my face and pepper with it with kisses.  He would probably say,”Ewww…! That’s so sissy!” Or something like that. Soon they will be too big for me to cuddle and hug, they will probably tower over me in a few years.  Not a difficult feat, considering my dwarven size…

When I came across this poem, it felt so apt! It’s not fantastic in grammar and neither does it look very “chim”, but I’m sure all the parents can appreciate it. So, taking the words from Robin Williams’ Dead Poets Society – Carpe Diem!

The Last Time

From the moment you hold your baby in your arms,

You will never be the same.

You might long for the person you were before,

When you had freedom and time,

And nothing in particular to worry about.

You will know tiredness like you never knew before,

And days will run into days that are exactly the same,

Full of feedings and burping,

Nappy changes and crying,

Whining and fighting,

Naps or a lack of naps,

It might seem like a never-ending cycle.

But don’t forget,

There is a last time for everything.

There will come a time when you will feed

your baby for the very last time.

They will fall asleep on you after a long day

And it will be the last time you ever hold your sleeping child.

One day you will carry them on your hip then set them down,

And never pick them up that way again.

You will scrub their hair in the bath one night

And from that day on they will want to bathe alone.

They will hold your hand to cross the road,

Then never reach for it again.

They will creep into your room at midnight for cuddles,

And it will be the last night you ever wake to this.

One afternoon you will sing “the wheels on the bus”

and do all the actions,

Then never sing them that song again.

They will kiss you goodbye at the school gate,

The next day they will ask to walk to the gate alone.

You will read a final bedtime story and wipe your last dirty face.

They will run to you with arms raised for the very last time.

The thing is, you won’t even know it’s the last time

Until there are no more times.

And even then,

It will take you a while to realise.

So while you are living in thee times,

remember there are only so many of them

and when they are gone,

you will yearn for just one more day of them.

For one last time.

~ Anonymous

Ming Ming's Diary – Left, Right, Left, Right?? ???

Ming Ming's Diary – Left, Right, Left, Right?? ???

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It’s a school day again!! I so lub lub school!! ???

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Me? Pretty teacher, are you asking me to demonstrate???

[youtube=http://youtu.be/lKqgLOWdAMc]

You have got the right person. I bang, I bang, I bang. Look! Left hand right hand left hand right hand!

[youtube=http://youtu.be/W8TVjKnk3ks]

Watch me groove to the beat!!

Chicks love drummer boys. I just need my sunglasses to complete the look.

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See! Instant results!! I told you that the drumming stint would work.

For guaranteed success, I even swapped my doraemon mosquito patch with my Jie Jie for her hello kitty one. Look! It’s right on my back.

She tells me that all the girls in her class go mad over hello kitty. I can’t understand why. But heck!! If it works, I can even walk around in the kitty costume!

?just the two of us… Watching the world go by…?

*moves closer* *wonder if it’s the right time to hold her hand now…*

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Taylor (the gf on my right) : Ho! Competition!! ? Ming Ming is mine!!!

Sighs happily…

I’m so highly sought after. Diamond bachelor ???

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It’s ok. Let’s all watch the world go by together. Don’t fight over me k?? Peace….

This is bliss…. Not one. But 2 girlfriends. Told you I’m Mr Popular. I wonder if I can put my arms around both their shoulders at the same time…

Should I should I??? *thinks hard… Really hard…* hmmmmmm…..

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Hey!! One minute I was thinking hard, the next I fell asleep. Where are all my girls???

I knew it! I have thought so hard on which girl to pick that I got tired and fell asleep. And now school’s over and they have gone home. ???

Ming Ming well done!! No wonder polygamy is not encouraged. It tires a man out. Sigh….

But how?? I can’t decide. Can you leave some comments on who I should pick??? Such a dilemma.

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I think I should just take a bath. To clear my mind.

Laura? Taylor? Laura? Taylor??
Left one? Right one???

Sigh… Ok ok. Bathe first. Before I tire myself out with all this decision making.

Ming Ming's Diary – Prince Charming *er hem*

Ming Ming's Diary – Prince Charming *er hem*

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Check out my fan “comments”!!

Why put basil in nasi lemak?? On tv, don’t those chefs like Olive something (he must have had the chef look when he was born that’s why his Mama named him olive!) always throw in herbs???

So I do that too!!! Just like the great chefs do!!

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I overheard Mama telling Papa about the teacher-parent session she had with Jie Jie’s teacher.

“The teacher was telling me that 宝贝 always makes references to Charming during all her show and tell sessions. I was wondering which Prince Charming from which fairy tale. Or if she has some secret boyfriend at school. So I asked her teacher, “which Charming??” She said, “Isn’t her brother called Charming?!” I almost fell off the chair!”

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Even Jie Jie’s teacher who hasn’t seen me thinks I’m charming!!! *coughs*

Jiu Jiu!!! Are you hearing that?!?!

I shall henceforth be known as Charming Neo Cheng Ming! Woo hoo!!!

In such a good mood today, people just called me Charming.

I shall now perform A Capella for all of you. I’ve practised it for a whole day today to get it right.

Maybe I can even hold my concert at the new indoor stadium soon!!

Imagine this – let’s have the world renowned A Capella star, Charming Neo!!!

[youtube=http://youtu.be/dHvVNoXAOKI]

Good??? Good enough for indoor stadium???

Ming Ming's Diary – School's In! Yay!

Ming Ming's Diary – School's In! Yay!

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*pat pat face*

Oh hi!! Good morning!!!

I’m just doing my morning facial ritual. It’s very important to take care of your skin so it’s best to start when you are young.

I’m too young??? Haven’t you heard that the it’s never too young to start?? No?? Well now you’ve heard.

Today’s a school day… So I must look my best.

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*turns head**killer look*

How’s my killer look? Combined with my facial? Lethal combination to drive the chicks insane.

*blue steel killer look*

Oh man!! I’ve made news in school today.

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A tiger came to my school today. All the dainty damsels were screaming…. Help…. Hellllppp!!!

Have no fear! Ming Ming is HERE!

(Check out my cool rhyme!)

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HA DAH!

*karate chop* *taekwando kick* *龟派气功* *降龙十八掌*

How dare you scare all my Mei Meis in class!!!!

KO you tiger!! KO!!!

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There!!!! Fair damsel!

I’ve taken out the tiger!! You may play in class unmolested. For when I’m around *puffs out tummy* you will come to no harm!

Fair damsel : Awwww…. You are my HERO!!! *blows a kiss*

Sigh… What to do?? I’m suave, I’m strong ??, I’ve good skin. In short… I’m simply IRRESISTIBLE!!!

Ming Ming you are DA MAN!!

[youtube=http://youtu.be/Uxam9x5kOIs]

Woah! All that tiger slaying makes a man hungry!!!

Nom Nom Nom Nom.

See!! Feeding my little 14 month old self without messing up. It’s harder than fighting off a tiger!!

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I’ve demonstrated my fighting prowess, now I must show my domesticated side.

Then all the Mei Meis will follow me home. No horse run!!

*kneads dough*

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Prepares my utensils and cooking stuff.

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Now, watch the master chef in action!

Hah!

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Oooi! Bring me the soya sauce!!!

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Carter : here you go!!

Me : thanks buddy! I owe you one. *fist on chest*

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Serious cooking happening here…

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Good chefs are ambidextrous.

See! Both hands! Both hands!!!

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*sticks out tongue* let me check the taste.

Hmmm… Almost there… Just need a wee bit more basil!

*grabs a handful and throws it in*

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Flip the food.

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Flip again. Almost there… Patience patience.

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Checking my simmering soup. All’s good!!

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Ta dah!!!!!

Nasi lemak (Jiu Jiu I haven’t forgotten!! ?) fit for a queen!!!

Mei Mei you can come home with me now?

I’ll fight tigers and cook nasi lemak for you every day!!!

Good husband material I am!!

Ming Ming's Diary – Nasi Lemak.. And an Interview

Ming Ming's Diary – Nasi Lemak.. And an Interview

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I had a greeeeaaaat night sleep last night. So I woke up, BRIGHT and SHINY! In an utterly good mood.

Last night, I tossed and turned and rolled and wriggled until…. I found the perfect position!

I rested my head on Mama’s ribs. So comfy! Massaging effect. I love it there. But she kept hauling me back flat on the bed. *grumble*

Anyway on my 4th attempt, I got so warm and comfy that I drifted off to Lalaland. *sighs blissfully*

I love Mama sooo much. I want to sleep ON mama every night. *muak muak muak* ???

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Fwah!!! I found this comment. Don’t use long bombastic words on me ok!!! I know how to google this nasi nasi word!! ?

My teacher says it’s rude to use 4 syllabus word on people!!

Oh… 4 letters?? Not 4 syllabus??? Whatever…. They are all in fours!! It’s rude to use long words like nasi lemak on people, especially young children like me. Do you know that this can lower my self esteem??? Then I’ll become a school dropout and then I’ll go on drugs then I’ll, I’ll tell my Mama!!!

Mama!! Jiu Jiu just called me a nasi lemak!!!

It sounds like a really BAD word!!! Jiu Jiu! I don’t want to talk to you anymore!!!

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Jiu Jiu is a MEANIE pig!!!!!

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Hi everyone (ignores Jiu Jiu)! This is Ming Ming. See what a good night’s sleep has done for me??

Thank you for reading my blog. Although I’m very new to all this, I’m so happy to have the support of all of you. *blows kisses*

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You want to take my photo? Ok hold on, let me turn. There! This side of my face looks more photogenic. There! At this angle. Yes yes!! Hold it hold it! There! Perfect!!!

Now where was I? Oh ok. All you fans out there. Though I’m nowhere near celebrity status but I like the family family feeling. Like…like an inner circle. Yes that’s right! Inner circle.

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*beams beatifically*

If you ever see me in the malls, do feel free to come up and say hello! Autograph??? Thumb print ok??? Palm print also can! Or else footprint?? *holds up pudgy foot*

Oh my favourite food? Simple. BA-NA-NA! BA-BA-NA-NA!!

My favourite song??? Twinkle twinkle little star. *reminisces about the time spent with my sweetheart under the flickering stars…*

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Ah huh! It’s time to go home?? But but I’m still bring interviewed. It’s past my bedtime???

Awww…. Why do babies have to sleep so early?

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Hey!? Who turned out the lights??? I know it’s bedtime but I don’t sleep sitting up in a high chair!!!

I need a proper bed!!! Help!!! Nasi lemak you!!!!

Where did I learn the bad word from!?? From Jiu Jiu!!!!!!

Jiu Jiu teach bad me!!!

Chicken Soup for 小小宝贝

Chicken Soup for 小小宝贝

小小宝贝 :婆婆,我要喝鸡汤。
婆婆 :好。喝汤。
小小宝贝 :(in an indignant voice) 不是汤!是鸡汤!
婆婆 : 好好!鸡汤!(passed him the bowl of chicken soup, supported the bowl while he drank straight from it)

Soon, we heard strange gurgling sounds from 小小宝贝.

婆婆:为什么有奇怪的声音?!你在喝汤吗?
小小宝贝 :(looked up from his bowl) 我在漱口。
婆婆 :鸡汤不喝!拿来漱口!(took the bowl away)
小小宝贝:不要!我要漱口!

Sigh…. He must be the only toddler in the world who rinses his mouth with chicken soup…

又好气、又好笑! ???