My One Cent Worth of Thoughts

“Morning! You are Early!”
Isn’t there a strange morning greeting?! What’s even stranger is, I am there, at the same time, at the same seat every single day. The strangest thing is, the people who usually say that, are never this early.

I find it as senseless as “Have you eaten today?” Of course, I have eaten today! If I don’t eat every day, you won’t have the chance to speak to me, right? I mean, if you have nothing better to say, then just smile (practise our Singapore’s 4 million smiles campaign) and walk off, instead of saying something lame for the sake of saying something.

Some poor excuses of conversation fillers:
1. Have you eaten?
2. Have you eaten and are you full? (DUH! Most commonly used by people of the older generation)
3. Are you working today? (When you are in a suit and carrying a laptop. Gosh, no, I’m wearing the suit for fun and I’m actually carrying my laptop around to watch YouTube and to play Age of Empire!)
4. Is your work very tiring? (No, it’s certainly a breeze.)
5. When are you getting a boyfriend? (The inevitable question, if you are still single.)
6. When are you getting married? (After you have satisfied Qn 5, they go on to the next one.)
7. When are you getting your first baby? (A followup question for qn 6)
8. When are you getting your next baby? (Yet, another followup questions to qn 7. I mean, is it part of their business if I’m getting a boyfriend, a husband, a baby or yet another baby or a divorce etc?! Sheesh! Why don’t they ask me when’s my birthday and give me a present for it?!)

These are the more commonly asked questions. Will add on to the list when I think of more.

I have never pondered over this question before, until, one fine Sunday, when I went shopping at Plaza Singapura.

The hunt for a birthday gift brought me to an accessories shop at Plaza Sing. (What’s new?! I’m here every Sunday! Haha! So now you know, all my gifts were bought from here.) There was an array of glass necklaces, earrings etc. A very friendly teenybopper salesgirl bounded up to me and cheerfully asked me if I needed her service. Why not??

Ahwei: I’m looking for a birthday present for my friend. Maybe a bracelet.
Salesgirl: Let me show you some nice ones. (She brought out a few.)
Ahwei: I’m thinking of getting her something which she can wear to work and all these look too casual.
Salesgirl: Maybe you could give me a description of what your friend looks like so that I can make some recommendations.
Ahwei: Well, she is description.
Salesgirl: How old is she?
Ahwei: Around 30.
Salesgirl: Oh, she’s middle aged. I have some suirable ones for her. (She said it absolutely candidly and with conviction!!!)

Hmm….. Darn! Have I just left my youth behind and moved into middle age without knowing it?! *sob sob*

Sheesh.. I have always thought that middle age refered to at least age 40, since the expectancy of humans has stretched to age 80….

Feeling very perturbed over this, I checked an online dictionary (not only that, it’s a MEDICAL dictionary!!). Here’s what it said :

mid·dle age
n. The time of human life between youth and old age, usually reckoned as the years between 40 and 60. Also called midlife.

Source: The American Heritage® Stedman’s Medical Dictionary
Copyright © 2002, 2001, 1995 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company.

So there! I’m right!! I’m still about 10 years (if you count the lower limit and another 30 years from the upper limit) away! So I’m still a youth!!

Tsk tsk! I should buy the salesgirl a dictionary… The English standard of the young youths in Singapore is deplorable….

I know I know, it’s sinful to eat KFC. Believe me, I have repented in the last few days and have been feeling very remorseful since.

But but, it was really tiring to go through one whole hour of saxophone class, so i decided to reward myself with a dose of KFC. I was patiently waiting for my order to be assembled when a voice boomed behind me,”Look here!” An uncle in T-shirt and berms was poking aggressively at his KFC discount coupons (almost making holes in them) and without a polite word of “excuse me”, he started barking at the cashier.

“I ordered this, this and this so I should get 4 drinks, why did you only give me 3?! If I didn’t count (as if it was so difficult to count from 3 to 4… duh.. wonder where he went to receive his primary school education), you would have CHEATED me of 1 drink!!”

I was just wondering, was his one miserable drink so expensive that KFC had to resort to cheating him out of it and he had to shout at someone about it. Sheesh…

The poor girl apologised fervently and gave him one drink. He threw her a malevolent look and stormed off. Gosh! What an attitude!! Who did he think he was?? It’s just a drink, for goodness’ sake…

Anyway, being nosier than usual, I took a seat near to his happy little family which consisted of him, his wife and 2 children. Throughout the whole meal, not many words were exchanged and he continued eating with a sour look on his face. At that point of time, I regretted (again..) that I didn’t buy a camera phone, so that I could snap his face on the spot and post it here!!! Ack!

Didn’t look like there was much communication going on there, and I wondered why… It would like quite strange if I were alone and was communicating with myself, but i can’t imagine eating my lunch in silence if there were 3 other people I know around me.

So, there I was, feeling pity for the counter girl and “kapoing” at them from the corner of my eyes. He finished first and started digging at his teeth.. IN PUBLIC!! (regretted not buying a camera phone, again..) Feeling something beneath his slippers, he turned it up and… flicked a little bit of chicken stuck to the sole with his finger (YES! THE SAME ONE HE USED TO DIG AT HIS TEETH!) and then… he DUG AT HIS TEETH AGAIN! EEeewwww….!!!!

This was a typical someone who had no sense of hygiene and thought that he could scold others just because he could count more than 3 and had the money to buy KFC. Duh!! An interesting thought popped up,”Would his children grow up to be like him?” *Shiver* He just multiplied himself by 2x…(2 children mah! Can’t you count??!!)

I have initially wanted to create a post on more MRT stuff, until I read Pig’s most recent entry. Hey! What are friends for?! I should write something about a friend than a bunch of nameless strangers on the MRT, right??

Can you imagine eating something that you KNOW that you have kept it around for one whole year in the humid environment of this country? Awwww…. Yep! That was my first reaction!

I have seen his oatmeal concoction when I visited him once. “Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder” It stands true even for food. I thought it resembled something, which I had expelled from my stomach when I had food poisoning once, but then again, it looked like gourmet dinner to him. *Shrug* Oh well, to each his own. So you get the idea what it actually looks like. “The porridge-like texture and the taste is a combination die for — what more can I ask for? – quotation from Pig I wonder if this sentence has a double meaning to it. *ponder* (It’s a pity I didn’t take the opportunity to capture it with a camera. Time to get a camera phone!)

On top of this, he gobbled it down even though he discovered some strange bits floating in it. *sigh*

Is it so difficult to prepare a healthy meal without eating vomit-like oatmeal with dead insects floating on it?

Pig, here’s a simple recipe for you. If you are really going vegetarian, just cook a little rice/porridge. Get some nice leafy xiao bai cai, boil them for one minute and pour oyster sauce over them. I guarantee that they have a more pleasing aesthetic effect and more nutrients than your strange looking oatmeal. Simple enough for lazy you?

P.S Knowing him, he will probably pen a sarcastic comment later. However, in order to prove me wrong, he may forcefully restrain himself from writing the comment.