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Category: Tongue in Cheek

Some quirks in life that I have observed from idling on the mrts or just anywhere in the world.

Just Pretend I’m NOT here!

Just Pretend I’m NOT here!

630am Either the mechanical alarm clock starts its incessant ringing or the human alarm clock bounces into the room and announces in her bright and chirpy voice, “Wake up! It’s time to WAKE UP!!!”

Today it’s the former.

The Hub : Eh! Wake up leh! Have to get her ready for school.

Me : *nudged the baby towards his daddy* (he happily crawled over) I’m very tired. Your son kept disturbing me last night. I want to sleeeeep….

The Hub : How am I going to manage with 2 kids?? Must get her ready for school and feed both of them!!!

Me : How do you think I handled both of them in the morning when you were on your business trip to India?! Just do what I did! If I can do it, so can you!!!!

The Hub : ah…

Me : go go! Just imagine I’m not here. Ok ok! Now I’m on a business trip to India. You don’t see me at all!! (Covered my head with the blanket)

He carried the cooing baby to the next room.

Peace…….

For 5 miserable minutes…..

A loud wail was heard from 宝贝’s room. No… I’m not going over. I’m in India, remember??

It grew louder…..

Wa Lau! What the heck is going on?! World War 3?!? Liddat how to sleep?!??

I rolled over and got out of bed.

Simi dai ji?!?! Ok ok! I am back from India Liao!!!! What’s wrong?!?!

What’s the world going to be like without Mothers around?! *grumble*

Korean Craze – 宝贝

Korean Craze – 宝贝

The first time she did this, I attempted to correct her.

“No no! 1 plus 1 is 2! What the heck is kiyomi?! 2 plus 2 is 4!!”

“Noooo… (In a distressed wail) it’s KIYOMI!!”

“What kind of word is that?!”

“Mama it’s CUTE!!!”

Huh?!

After some consultation with younger friends on whatsapp, I realised that it’s another one of those Korean pop craze thingy. That reminds me of the last time she came home from school galloping like a pony and called her brother “sexy baby”. ?

For a little girl with no contact with the tv and smart phones, she’s surprisingly well informed….

For the clueless parents like me, I’ve done a google and compiled a gwiyomi (or kiyomi) survival kit. So that you don’t attempt to tell your child that she shouldn’t be sucking her fingers when she chants 6 plus 6.

Gwiyomi wiki for the studious parents.

For the visual parents, check out the following image. Do practise a few times before you perform it with your child.

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If you want to bond with your child over smart phone and “buddy” with them, there’s a message version of it.

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Check out my 宝贝’s version. ?

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4vkgUnjxoE&w=560&h=315]

Move over “kawaii”! Here comes “kiyomi!!

Facebook

Facebook

Hub : In a few years’ time I’ll get a Facebook account!

Me : Why “in a few years” and not “now”?! I thought you said social media is a waste of time and is bo Liao?! (He’s one of the extremely few persons I know who doesn’t have a Facebook account and he’s in the IT line! Heck! Even my dad who’s a retiree is my friend on fb!!)

Hub : Well, kids are so techy nowadays. When 宝贝 gets a Facebook account, I want to be her first friend. *beams*

Huh?! The mountains and seas couldn’t move him to register for a fb account. No wonder there’s a Chinese saying, “Daughters were their Daddies’ lovers in their previous lives!”

Hmm… That means my friend who has 3 daughters must have been quite a Casanova in his previous life. :p

Happy Father’s Day!

P.S. Darn! That means I can’t complain about him on Facebook anymore!!!! Never mind. There’s still twitter!!

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I’ve Got Blood on My Hand

I’ve Got Blood on My Hand

A slight itch on my foot, I saw something twitch from the corner of my eye, I smacked.

There it was. On my palm, its carcass splayed across it, together with a slight smear of blood. My blood…

I vengefully prodded it and squashed its still form, more blood splatted out. My bloodthirst has been sated. It felt oddly satisfying.

I have battle scars to show, although I’ve emerged as the victor. Three huge bites.

Even though I knew it’s not Aedes (which attacks its unsuspecting victims in the day), but the bloodsucker had caused me much discomfort.

A good night’s sleep is in store.

Walking Bag Stand

Walking Bag Stand

One handbag, one laptop bag, one pump bag, 2 paper bags…. Here comes the walking bag stand!

No photo because all my hands are full. No free hand for a self portrait.

Still, I must be grateful that I only look like a walking bag stand for the short journey from the car park to the office. When I’m having external appointments, I can pop over to the car to get the pump bag. I get to use the car now.

3 years ago, you’d probably see a walking bag stand traipsing all over Orchard Road.

Once again, be grateful for the things I have in my life. Thank you car!! <3

Hungry Babies

Hungry Babies

She brought a whole armload of her bears downstairs.

“Ooh! My babies are hungry!!!” She pulled up her pink little t-shirt, exposing her chest and charming little chubby tummy, while her mommy looked at her, agog. She grabbed the first bear and pushed its furry face over her chest. Shouldn’t she be bottle feeding the bears, just like all the other little girls???

“Erm…. Are you feeding your babies??”

Her mommy almost fell over, laughing. But she just had to keep a straight face because the little mommy looked so serious.

“Yes. They are hungry. They were crying!! Didn’t you hear them?”

Hmmm… Her mommy must get her hearing checked for she heard nothing.

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The pensive mommy feeding her baby.

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The mommy scratching her back while feeding.

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The mommy posing for her breast feeding glamour shot.

She gently set the bear down and repeated it with the next one, and the one after and finally all of them.

“Wow! Your babies drink really fast. Are they full?” Observed her mommy.

“Yes. All full. They are fast, not like your baby. So slow!”

She gave me a proud-mommy look because her babies were fast drinkers.

=.=”

Opening Joke for the Snake Year

Opening Joke for the Snake Year

Opening joke for the snake year.

(Sound of phone being picked up)
The Hub : Is this the Bedok 24 hour clinic?
Receptionist : yes
The Hub : What are your opening hours?
Receptionist : (long pause) We are open 24 hours.
The Hub : (sheepishly) Thanks.

You are My One and Only…

You are My One and Only…

You are my one and only … iPhone 5 cable.

I promise that from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, ’till death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness.

I’ve a 30pin cable in my bedroom, one in my study room, one in my car, one in my office and one in my bag.

But you… There’s one and only you…. I’ll always be with you. Maybe I can fashion you into a necklace and wear you around my neck.

The Government is So Busy… So Many Things to Take Care of?!

The Government is So Busy… So Many Things to Take Care of?!

I read this letter on the Forum page of the Straits Times with amusement…

 

Aiyo, this Miss Ow hor… What does she want the government to do? Help her look after her money? That’s what the CPF is for! And people have complained that it’s too rigid, and they can’t use it til they are old and senile… You just can’t satisfy everyone out there.

 
Everybody has to take up the responsibility on how you invest your money.  There’s no perfect investment instrument in the world.  Every single kind of instrument comes with risk.  Even Ponzi schemes make money for some people – the people who entered early and stopped investing after the first wave.  We have also seen bank offerings such as the Mini bonds, which was supposed to be a low risk product fail because a complicated product has been misconstrued as a simple bond investment product.

 

For people who have put money into all forms of investments, be it stocks, mini bonds, ostrich eggs (yes! I have read about them), plantations, trees, properties, koi fishes, commodities, unsecured loans, and all various other creative forms of investments, they have to take responsibility for their own money.  They can’t expect the government, after mother-coddling them on all other things, to do it for them?  A big part of investing is to do one’s homework.  Of course, even after due diligence, there is still a chance of failure, which is inevitable.  Or else, just leave the money in the savings account which earns you 0.0125% annually, and lose it safely to inflation.

 

As for people like Ms Ow, in the first place, the companies have already been put on the alert list, which is widely published on the MAS website. Part of the homework before investing, is to check out lists like this.  Before the days of the internet, this may be more difficult, but nowadays, with a search on Google, it will turn up numerous articles.  Since she knows how to send a letter to the Forum, looking up information on Google shouldn’t be a barrier to her.  Of course at the end of the day, the investor still has the call, whether or not to invest.  If she thinks it’s a ponzi but it’s only like 1 day old, well, maybe money can still be made, because she may belong to the “1st wave”.

 

She has mentioned that she has placed faith on the regulatory system.  Regulatory systems can just go so far.  Even when there are laws and police patrols, there are still crimes being committed.  If you place something valuable in full view and easy accessibility, what’s stopping a thief from taking it away.  It all boils down to personal vigilance.  How far does she expect the government to stretch to take care of her?  There are so many more unfortunate people out there to take care of.

 

She mentioned that people depend on the payouts for daily living.  What about companies which fold and retrench their employees who depend on them for daily living? Have they committed a crime?

 

At the end of the day, you have to be accountable for your own decisions.  Stop expecting the government to take care of everything for you.  It’s sad that people lose money through investments but who hasn’t?  Just treat it as a lesson in life, move on and make sure that you don’t commit the folly again.

 

Government so busy, everything also must do.  You anyhow put your money also government’s fault.  Aiyooo…!!