Mama I have a BAD Headache!
宝贝 had a slight temperature in the afternoon so I dosed her with paracetamol before her nap.
Tossing and turning on her bed…
宝贝 : Mama, I’ve a very BAD headache!
Me : Really?! (Took her temperature with the thermometer) no. It’s only 37.0°C. No fever.
宝贝 : (giving me a very agonized look) but… I have a headache! I need the pink medicine.
Me : (looked at her suspiciously) you can’t drink that unless you have a fever.
宝贝 : It’s my favourite medicine!!! (She wailed)
Me : It’s not fruit juice ok!!! Ok ok, I’ll take your temperature later. If it goes up, I’ll wake you up to drink the medicine.
宝贝 : What time are you taking my temperature? (Looked at me hopefully)
Me : 12:00
宝贝 : so late?! 11:00 ok ok???
Me : =.=”
Did she think that I’m a 3 year old?! Her intention was so obvious!
Don’t understand why she’s so gian Peng to drink the fever medicine…. ?
When I Grow Up, I Want to be a ….
I have been up to my nose with work. I figured that I needed to get myself an assistant if I wanted my children to still greet me as “MaMa” and not “Auntie” when I got home.
But I couldn’t really afford a very expensive one, so we were interviewing really young people, fresh out from school.
One of them wanted to take it on as a temp job as he’s enlisting in NS in August. He asked me,”why did you switch to sales when you have an engineering degree?” I said, “why not?? It’s incredibly fun!”
“So what do you want to do next time?”
“I want to be a consultant.”
“Consultant? Why?”
“Because a consultant solves problems for big organisations. I feel good solving people’s problem.” He beamed.
Wow oh wow!
Doesn’t that sound kind of familiar??
I still remember, in my final year at the university, big and prestigious MNCs sent their HR teams and past graduates to conduct career talks, to woo the brightest and best of the cohort.
We were very impressed with the consulting companies. They were huge American MNCs, they only took in the ones with the top grades. They would give you a wardrobe allowance so that you could dress yourself up and not throw their faces (aka disgrace them) in front of the clients. Oh they forgot to mention that it came with a bond.
My senior joined the company a year ago and came back to do the career talk. “It is a fantastic career!!” And all the naive us believed him. What’s he to say??? He wasn’t supposed to smear dirt on the company who sent him back to promote it? Na ah! No career limiting move must be executed.
“We solved all the problems for the clients.” He forgot to mention that solving problems meant clearing the choked up toilet of all the shit. Well, figuratively.
“We are paid handsomely!” He glossed over the details such as the insane number of hours they had to put in that if you divide the pay by the number of hours, it didn’t make mathematical sense anymore.
And so all of us… Aspired to be…. Consultants…
After the interview, I told Mr Meepok, “waa! Another consultant wannabe! Reminds me so much of myself when I was just fresh out of school!! So idealistic!!! Maybe I should enlighten him that consultant = toilet cleaner (clear shit mah)??”
“Why you want to break a young person’s dreams?? You are old and jaded lar! So sad! No more innocence left!”
Innocence cannot eat wan lar. Only kana makaned by others! Sigh? Where has the fresh-out-of-school-starry-eyed me gone to??
Boliao Things We Say
In the study room.
Me : ok! I’m done! (Switched off my Mac and leaving the room)
As I was closing the sliding door from outside the room…
Hub : waaa! I just saw a huge mosquito! It must be your pet mosquito that sits on your shoulder.
(He has this warped theory that a mosquito sits on my shoulder and feeds on me all the time. I’m usually the first one to get bitten by mos and hv the most bites. He’s convinced that it’s actually the same one and calls it my pet mosquito. Lame arh?! But that’s part of his charm wahahaha)
Hub : hey! What are you doing to the door??
Me : oh making sure that there’s no gap for it to escape.
Hub : you are locking me in the room with the monster mosquito?!?!?
Me : ya! Make sure you kill it before you leave the room!
Meanwhile, I go back to my room to see who emerges as the victor from the bloodbath.
Ok… End of bo Liao story….
Holiday Homework
Sunday Morning
Me : 宝贝, Zachary and Gabriel can’t go to the Children’s Garden with us today because Gabriel didn’t do his holiday homework and he has to hand it in tomorrow.
On the way to the Children’s Garden…
Hub : Wow! The ECP is so empty today. Where’s everyone??
Me : At home lar.
Hub : For what?
Me : Trying to finish up their kids’ holiday homework before school reopens tomorrow??
Hub : Oh, you mean the school holidays have started.
Me : It has ended you mean?! =.=”
Ok ok… this joke doesn’t sound as funny as I thought. I will try harder next time. Ganbatte!
Miss Potato Head?!
Struggling to put her swimming cap over her head. It slipped off for the 3rd consecutive time.
Me : (exasperated) why is your head so big today??
宝贝: I ate a lot of vegetables during lunch today. That’s why my head is so big.
Me : what does eating vegetables have to do with your head?!
宝贝 : all the vegetables went to my head. So it became bigger. I should eat less vegetables.
Is she trying to pull a fast one on me?!
Bimbo Stories
A few months back… In sedentary September, 宝贝 had her 4th birthday.
Her classmate gave her a Barbie doll.
宝贝: Mama! Peter Paul gave me a Barbie!! I want to play with it now. (Now happened to be bedtime.)
Me : Nope, you play with it tomorrow. You must sleep now.
宝贝: But I love Barbie dolls!
Me : Why would you? You never had one. Besides, only BIMBOs play with Barbies. See!! Both start with B.
宝贝: What’s a BIMbo??
Me : A Bimbo is a silly Sally. Silly Sallys are giddy gaddies and they fall down all the time.
宝贝 : Ooh! I just fell down today! (Shows me a bruise on her knee) So I’m a silly Sally. And I’m a bimbo. Can I play with the Barbie doll now??
?
Today, we revisited the subject on Bimbos again.
宝贝: Mama, green is no longer my favourite colour.
Me : Oh really? So what’s your favourite colour now?
宝贝 : PINK!!
Me : Pink?! Yucks! Only bimbos like pink!!
宝贝 : But Sarah likes pink too! (Trying to convince me with herd mentality.)
Me : So?!
宝贝 : Mama, then why are you wearing pink?! You are a bimbo!!
Me : (looks down at my shirt. Darn! I’m wearing a dark pink Adidas polo shirt. I made a mental note to check my clothes before venturing into the bimbo topic in future.) Now look! This is a present from Uncle Ernest. It’ll be very rude to reject a present. So since I didn’t buy it, I’m not a Bimbo!!
宝贝 : (chanting) Bimbo Bimbo Bimbo!!
Damn!!! Pawned by a 4 year old. ?
Gore Sells!
I was quite surprised to see the jump in viewership when I wrote about my brother’s hospitalisation.
Hmmm… The title??? The pictures??
Anyway, it’s just proven that gore sells! That’s why there are so many movies with gory scenes being made. *ka-ching*
Just a quick update on the leading man, he’s been discharged from the hospital this afternoon and is now recuperating at home.
He’s been banned from work for at least one month. Please report to me if he defies the work ban. Severe action will be taken against the offender.
The Rolling Stone
My baby is growing up. What a “morning call” he gave me this morning. ?
I was all bleary eyed this morning. So utterly tired from yesterday. I vaguely heard an “arh arh” from 小小宝贝 signaling that he’s up and WE were supposed to get up and play with him. I was simply too tired to move.
Suddenly I felt a heavy weight (all 9.5kg of him) wham into my ribs! I think I swore. Oops!! ?
小小宝贝 slammed himself into me, he’s probably given up using his voice to wake us up and not getting any response so he decided to be more pro active.
Then he rolled and rolled over to hub and I heard an “ooh” from beside me. Oh well! At least the “joy” was being shared.
So yes… He’s succeeded. He rolled and rolled some more in elation. Managed to catch him on photo…
Where did he learn how to roll like that?? Future gymnast in the making??
Nudging me…
He rolled and rolled and rolled around.
His smug look as he surveyed all the damage he caused. The little rascal!
Sunday Morning Snapshot – Little Kitty Face
I could hear the pitter pattering of little feet running around my room. I half opened my eyes (totally zonked out by the baby who woke up once every hour last night) and estimated it to be around 730am.
I was expecting the usual stuff, 宝贝 would jump into my bed and play with her brother. About 15 mins passed, nothing happened, except lots of rustling sounds from my toilet. This was extremely unusual.
I called out to her and she ran…in the opposite direction – to her room!
Ok. Fishy…!
Finally she appeared and whispered in a very remorseful voice,”Mommy please help…”
She did this to her face.
“What’s that on your face?!”
My hub came into the room and explained.
“She’s been playing with your makeup. She used up a lot of tissue, trying to remove it. Then she used water. But she couldn’t remove it. When you called out to her she ran away because she was afraid that she’s going to get scolded…”
That explained all the running around and rustling sounds. =.=”
“Waaa it’s permanent! It can’t be removed for one week!”
Then tears started to pool in her eyes. “I don’t want to go out like this!! Ugly!!” She wailed!
“If I remove them for you, do you promise not to play with my makeup again?”
She tearfully nodded her head.
“No promises ok! I will try to remove it. If I can’t then you have to stay at home for a week until it’s gone!”
So I used the makeup remover. And made a big fanfare out of it. “Waaa! So hard to remove! Waaa! You are so lucky!!!! See!! It can be removed! You may not be so lucky the next time!”
She happily left the room with a clean face. My makeup is safe…. For now….