Some quirks in life that I have observed from idling on the mrts or just anywhere in the world.
Me: How did you find the Lion Dance?
小小宝贝: The lions are naughty naughty!
Me: ? Why?!
小小宝贝: Because after they ate the oranges, they spit their food out! Cannot spit food out! (Disapproving look) AND they threw rubbish all over the floor! Naughty naughty!!
There’s hope for the next generation! Keep Singapore litter free!! ?
小小宝贝 has been in the Christmas mood for the last few months. I’ve been having live carolling in the house. BUT he has a quirky talent of changing the lyrics to suit himself. ?
You better watch out
You better not cry
You better not pout
I’m telling you why
Santa Claus is coming to town
He sees you when you’re pee-peeing
He knows when you are awake
He knows if you’ve been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake
Me : Eh it doesn’t sound very right. Can you sing the part “he sees you when you’re…” again??
小小宝贝 : ?He sees you when you’re PEE-PEEING?
Me : pee-peeing!? Isn’t it sleeping?!
小小宝贝 : No. Pee-peeing. Cannot dirty the toilet! Must pee into the toilet bowl! (Indignantly) Not sleeping!!!
Me : ok ok. It does make sense.
小小宝贝 continued his carolling, very smugly.
Yes! I have finally watched the movie! Now, no one can spoil it for me!! Got you, spoilers!!
Now I can be the spoiler! Hur Hur Hur!
Discussion after the movie,
Me : I think you should quit your job.
Hub : What does it have to do with the movie?!
Me : Of course!! Look at what happened to Kylo Ren.
Hub : ??!!
Me : His parents were too busy fighting the war. They had no time to take care of him so they sent him off to train with his uncle, Luke. He said, that Hans was never there for him. That’s why he turned to the dark side. Tsk! So unfilial. Even hoot his lao peh. Do you want that to happen to you?
Next time your son will turn to the dark side, become chow ah beng, sniff glue, take drugs then hoot you. Because you work, work, work and are never home for him. You want that to happen to you arh??
Hub : =.=” Like that also can meh?
Me : Of course can lah!! Come, give me your email. Tell your boss that you want to quit after watching “The Force Awakens”.
Hub : It’s ok. I don’t want to trouble you… I will tell him myself…
EH BOSS! DO YOU SEE THIS?! DON’T WORK MY HUB SO HARD!!
POOOooooo….t!!
Me : Ewwww! What was that?!
小小宝贝 ：A fart. (Without batting an eyelid)
Me : Who did that? (There were only 2 of us in the room. And it wasn’t me….)
小小宝贝 ：(Nonchalantly lining up his toy cars in his OCD way) It’s Jie Jie. (Big Sister)
Me : How can that be?! Jie Jie is in school now.
小小宝贝 ：(Still keeping his straight face) She farted very loudly in school so we can hear it here.
Me : =.=” (Poor, innocent, maligned Jie Jie) Little boys who tell lies don’t get to eat muffins.
小小宝贝 ：(giggling cheekily) Mama it’s me, not Jie Jie! I farted!! See so loud! Can I have a muffin please?
Sigh… Things he does for food… Greed rules….
My not-so-new New Year resolution is to blog more… I do have a lot which I want to share, but I simply must pen them down before I forget them!!
Somehow, when 小小宝贝 first learnt about numbers, he had decided to adopt “8” as his favourite number and thus, til today, everything comes in eights…. not 7, not 9, but 8!!!
小小宝贝 : (pushing his raisins around his bowl with his finger) Mama, you didn’t give me 8 raisins! (in his loud, indignant, righteous voice!)
Me : Of course I did! I counted them as I put them into your bowl.
小小宝贝 : No you didn’t!!
Me : count them yourself! I gave you 8! And that’s it! No more raisins!!
小小宝贝 : ok! I’m counting!! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7… 9!! See!! You didn’t give me 8 raisins!! No. 8 is missing!!! (glared at me as thought it’s my fault!!)
Me : No…! After 7 is 8!!! Not 9!
小小宝贝 : You didn’t give me 8 raisins!!
Me : …… (Trying to pull a fast one on me!!) It should be 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8! See! 8!
小小宝贝 : It’s 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, and this is no. 9!! No. 8 is missing!
Me : Ok.. since this is raisin no. 9, so it’s not raisin no. 8. Correct??
小小宝贝 : (nodded his head fervently)
Me : ok. (popped raisin no. 9 into my mouth) No more raisin no. 9.
小小宝贝 : Noooo…..!!!! YOU ATE MY RAISIN!!! RETURN ME MY RAISIN!!!!!
Me : (I can’t believe this is over one tiny piece of dried up fruit.) See… now it’s 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8! 8 raisins!!
小小宝贝 : Nooooo…!!! You ate my 8th raisin!!!! (Wailed as though I had killed his mother… )
Me : Shall I return you raisin no. 8??
小小宝贝 : (nodded tearfully)
Me : there! Raisin no. 8. Are there 8 raisins in the bowl now???
小小宝贝 : (nodded but still giving me the evil eye…)
Mama 1- 小小宝贝 0
It’s all about Maths, baby!
Greedy Toddler
It all started because of this.
Me : Let’s chat! How’s your day?
宝贝 : Mommy, I’d like to finish reading my book first. (In a sternly reprimanding tone)
Gosh… For a while, I felt like I was the wayward daughter. ?
Sigh…! With the no gadget rule, I had nothing to occupy myself with. I had to resort to eavesdropping on the conversation at the next table. Well, not exactly eavesdropping because they were rather loud and expressive.
Son (probably in secondary school) : What’s this in the jug?
Mother : That is the salad sauce to go with your salad.
Son : Can I drink it?
Mother : Don’t be STUPID!! That’s for your salad.
By the way, the poor woman is surrounded by stupid people and things, namely her stupid phone, her stupid husband, her stupid son etc. And she announced to the whole restaurant about them. My heart goes out to her. I can’t imagine myself surrounded by so much stupidity…
Son : Ok!!
I imagined if I were her, I would probably tell him, “Yes! Drink it! Make sure you finish the entire jug!”
Oh well, that’s just me.
Ok, you are right… I was indeed, very bored…. ???
It’s been soooo long since I last posted. Thought I’d post something short to get my butt off the ground and get going!
Me : Wow! Cool! Darth Vader!
Barista : Erm… It’s not Darth Vader… It’s a minion…
Me : Oh! Erm… Cute… Hehehe *sheepish laugh*
I scrutinized it when I brought it back to the table.
I still think it looks like Darth Vader leh….
It’s a school day again!! I so lub lub school!! ???
Me? Pretty teacher, are you asking me to demonstrate???
[youtube=http://youtu.be/lKqgLOWdAMc]
You have got the right person. I bang, I bang, I bang. Look! Left hand right hand left hand right hand!
[youtube=http://youtu.be/W8TVjKnk3ks]
Watch me groove to the beat!!
Chicks love drummer boys. I just need my sunglasses to complete the look.
See! Instant results!! I told you that the drumming stint would work.
For guaranteed success, I even swapped my doraemon mosquito patch with my Jie Jie for her hello kitty one. Look! It’s right on my back.
She tells me that all the girls in her class go mad over hello kitty. I can’t understand why. But heck!! If it works, I can even walk around in the kitty costume!
?just the two of us… Watching the world go by…?
*moves closer* *wonder if it’s the right time to hold her hand now…*
Taylor (the gf on my right) : Ho! Competition!! ? Ming Ming is mine!!!
Sighs happily…
I’m so highly sought after. Diamond bachelor ???
It’s ok. Let’s all watch the world go by together. Don’t fight over me k?? Peace….
This is bliss…. Not one. But 2 girlfriends. Told you I’m Mr Popular. I wonder if I can put my arms around both their shoulders at the same time…
Should I should I??? *thinks hard… Really hard…* hmmmmmm…..
Hey!! One minute I was thinking hard, the next I fell asleep. Where are all my girls???
I knew it! I have thought so hard on which girl to pick that I got tired and fell asleep. And now school’s over and they have gone home. ???
Ming Ming well done!! No wonder polygamy is not encouraged. It tires a man out. Sigh….
But how?? I can’t decide. Can you leave some comments on who I should pick??? Such a dilemma.
I think I should just take a bath. To clear my mind.
Laura? Taylor? Laura? Taylor??
Left one? Right one???
Sigh… Ok ok. Bathe first. Before I tire myself out with all this decision making.
Check out my fan “comments”!!
Why put basil in nasi lemak?? On tv, don’t those chefs like Olive something (he must have had the chef look when he was born that’s why his Mama named him olive!) always throw in herbs???
So I do that too!!! Just like the great chefs do!!
I overheard Mama telling Papa about the teacher-parent session she had with Jie Jie’s teacher.
“The teacher was telling me that 宝贝 always makes references to Charming during all her show and tell sessions. I was wondering which Prince Charming from which fairy tale. Or if she has some secret boyfriend at school. So I asked her teacher, “which Charming??” She said, “Isn’t her brother called Charming?!” I almost fell off the chair!”
Even Jie Jie’s teacher who hasn’t seen me thinks I’m charming!!! *coughs*
Jiu Jiu!!! Are you hearing that?!?!
I shall henceforth be known as Charming Neo Cheng Ming! Woo hoo!!!
In such a good mood today, people just called me Charming.
I shall now perform A Capella for all of you. I’ve practised it for a whole day today to get it right.
Maybe I can even hold my concert at the new indoor stadium soon!!
Imagine this – let’s have the world renowned A Capella star, Charming Neo!!!
[youtube=http://youtu.be/dHvVNoXAOKI]
Good??? Good enough for indoor stadium???
*pat pat face*
Oh hi!! Good morning!!!
I’m just doing my morning facial ritual. It’s very important to take care of your skin so it’s best to start when you are young.
I’m too young??? Haven’t you heard that the it’s never too young to start?? No?? Well now you’ve heard.
Today’s a school day… So I must look my best.
*turns head**killer look*
How’s my killer look? Combined with my facial? Lethal combination to drive the chicks insane.
*blue steel killer look*
Oh man!! I’ve made news in school today.
A tiger came to my school today. All the dainty damsels were screaming…. Help…. Hellllppp!!!
Have no fear! Ming Ming is HERE!
(Check out my cool rhyme!)
HA DAH!
*karate chop* *taekwando kick* *龟派气功* *降龙十八掌*
How dare you scare all my Mei Meis in class!!!!
KO you tiger!! KO!!!
There!!!! Fair damsel!
I’ve taken out the tiger!! You may play in class unmolested. For when I’m around *puffs out tummy* you will come to no harm!
Fair damsel : Awwww…. You are my HERO!!! *blows a kiss*
Sigh… What to do?? I’m suave, I’m strong ??, I’ve good skin. In short… I’m simply IRRESISTIBLE!!!
Ming Ming you are DA MAN!!
[youtube=http://youtu.be/Uxam9x5kOIs]
Woah! All that tiger slaying makes a man hungry!!!
Nom Nom Nom Nom.
See!! Feeding my little 14 month old self without messing up. It’s harder than fighting off a tiger!!
I’ve demonstrated my fighting prowess, now I must show my domesticated side.
Then all the Mei Meis will follow me home. No horse run!!
*kneads dough*
Prepares my utensils and cooking stuff.
Now, watch the master chef in action!
Hah!
Oooi! Bring me the soya sauce!!!
Carter : here you go!!
Me : thanks buddy! I owe you one. *fist on chest*
Serious cooking happening here…
Good chefs are ambidextrous.
See! Both hands! Both hands!!!
*sticks out tongue* let me check the taste.
Hmmm… Almost there… Just need a wee bit more basil!
*grabs a handful and throws it in*
Flip the food.
Flip again. Almost there… Patience patience.
Checking my simmering soup. All’s good!!
Ta dah!!!!!
Nasi lemak (Jiu Jiu I haven’t forgotten!! ?) fit for a queen!!!
Mei Mei you can come home with me now?
I’ll fight tigers and cook nasi lemak for you every day!!!
Good husband material I am!!