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Category: Little Anecdotes

怪叔叔 (weird uncle)

怪叔叔 (weird uncle)

Yesterday evening…

宝贝:Daddy can you come home earlier tomorrow night?

Hub: Ok. I’ll try.

宝贝 :(she thought for a while) can you come home at 11 o’clock? (She usually sleeps at 8).

Hub : Erm. Ok. (Turned to me and whispered) I thought she said early. She used to tell me to come home at 6. Why did she say 11 o’clock this time?

Me : Well she is not an idiot. It shows how low her expectations of you has dropped to. And you never get home by 6 anyway. All the disappointments she suffered every day. (I gave a dramatic sigh.)

I swore he looked a trifle guilty.

Me : (giving him a final punch) the next thing you know, she’ll point to you in surprise and say, “Who is this 怪叔叔 (weird uncle)??”

Hub : ok ok! I’ll come home earlier.

Today… She’s already asleep. Still not home yet!! Fine! The scare tactic didn’t work at all. *mutter* I must start getting her to call him 怪叔叔 tomorrow.

怪叔叔来咯!

Honesty is a Virtue

Honesty is a Virtue

Just before the music lesson ended, the teacher reminded the whole class,”Next week we will be having a term break. So remember not to come for class, ok?!”

A little voice piped up,”Hahaha! Yes! My Daddy always forgets! So many times!”

To the hub’s horror, the voice came from the 宝贝, who was sitting beside him.

Honesty should be rewarded. I allowed her to eat an extra biscuit – her favourite.

Flowers

Flowers

I love my short get-together time before bed with 宝贝. She’ll lie on her bed and recount her activities in the day to me.

宝贝: Mama, it’s your birthday today but papa didn’t buy you flowers. (With a very serious frown)
Me : *sigh*
宝贝: (she sat up on bed and patted my head gently) Never mind, never mind. Tomorrow I’ll draw many flowers for you. Ok? (Big eyed empathetic look)
Me : That’s real sweet of you!
宝贝 : But I don’t know how to draw flowers!! (Thinking hard, brows furrowed) Fish ok?? I know how to draw fish!
Me : (*bo he hair ma Ho! in this case, it’s bo huay, he ma Ho!) Erm fish?
宝贝 : (sensing my hesitation) I’ll draw many many fishes!! And a pond! And a duck!! Ok ok?!
Me : ok! (How can I reject her sincere offer?!) <3 <3

*bo he hair ma Ho = hokkien dialect. Literal translation : no fish, prawn works as well.

Hungry Babies

Hungry Babies

She brought a whole armload of her bears downstairs.

“Ooh! My babies are hungry!!!” She pulled up her pink little t-shirt, exposing her chest and charming little chubby tummy, while her mommy looked at her, agog. She grabbed the first bear and pushed its furry face over her chest. Shouldn’t she be bottle feeding the bears, just like all the other little girls???

“Erm…. Are you feeding your babies??”

Her mommy almost fell over, laughing. But she just had to keep a straight face because the little mommy looked so serious.

“Yes. They are hungry. They were crying!! Didn’t you hear them?”

Hmmm… Her mommy must get her hearing checked for she heard nothing.

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The pensive mommy feeding her baby.

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The mommy scratching her back while feeding.

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The mommy posing for her breast feeding glamour shot.

She gently set the bear down and repeated it with the next one, and the one after and finally all of them.

“Wow! Your babies drink really fast. Are they full?” Observed her mommy.

“Yes. All full. They are fast, not like your baby. So slow!”

She gave me a proud-mommy look because her babies were fast drinkers.

=.=”

I’m Only 3 Years Old!

I’m Only 3 Years Old!

Me : Do you know why you are sick?
宝贝 : yes. Because I played with Amanda (her BFF) in school and she threw up.
Me : Next time if you see your friend throw up, should you play with her?
宝贝 :I didn’t know she’s sick.
Me : Well, now you know! So what happens if you play with a sick friend?
宝贝 : I get sick and I throw up. But I didn’t know! I’m only 3 years old and I’m in n2! Next time when I’m in k1 and k2 I’ll know!! Ok!!
Me : Yes! But you are no longer 2 years old and you are a Jie Jie!
宝贝 : ok ok!!

Waaa. She knows how to use the “I’m only 3 years old!” on me. I must prepare more “ammunition” for rebuttal in future. I must get my last say!!!

Tummy Talk at Bedtime

Tummy Talk at Bedtime

It’s that time of the day again. Trying to get her to sleep. She’s unusually chatty because she’s trying not to sleep although I could tell that she was really bushed.

宝贝:Mama you have *didi in your tummy.
Me : Yes. That’s right.
宝贝:You were in *popo’s tummy.
Me : Yes. You remembered!
宝贝:But I’ve nothing in my tummy!! (she looked quite upset and her mouth became a huge inverted U.)
Me : Erm.. Well.. You have food in your tummy!! Your dinner!! (I said brightly. To avoid it turning into a tantrum that would disrupt the sleep pattern.)
宝贝:I don’t want food!! I want somebody in my tummy! Like you!
Me : You are still young. Next time when you grow up and become a mommy, you will have someone in your tummy.
宝贝:I don’t want! I want somebody to be in my tummy NOW!
Me : O.o

It escalated into a wail with her chanting “I have nobody in my tummy. I want somebody in my tummy now.” So much for prevention. She eventually fell asleep in the midst of it. Phew.

I knew that I had to explain about the birds and bees one day. But never would I imagine that I have to do it when she’s 3?!

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I told the hub about it when he came home.

Hub : aiya you should have explained to her about the reproductive system and she does have eggs in her. It’s just that they haven’t turned into babies.
Me : At bedtime when she’s about to sleep?! Such a *chim topic!! You must be kidding!! Since your bio is so good, why don’t you go through with her over breakfast tomorrow?!

Duh! Men!!

*didi = little brother
*popo = grandmother
Chim = profound

More of 宝贝’s bedtime stories.

Bedtime Massage

Bedtime Massage

The lights were out, everything was dark and quiet.

A little voice piped, “Mama! My foot is painful!” A little foot stuck out from the side of the bed.

“What’s wrong with your foot?”

“Pain.. I need a press press.”

“What’s a press press??”

“Like this!” She grabbed her left foot and pressed her sole with her little thumbs.

“Ah… You mean massage. Ok.”

I massaged her left foot very thoroughly. I could see her blissful smile in the moonlight. She sure was enjoying it. “Ok done! You can sleep now.”

“You didn’t scratch it.”

“Scratch?! You mean like this?!” I scratched her sole 2 times with my nails.

“Yes. Now my right foot. Pain!”

Hmmm… It sounded awfully suspicious to me. But I humoured her anyway, finishing it off with the little scratch.

“Why do I need to scratch it??”

“PoPo does it. PaPa also.”

“Hmpppff.. Ok” Weird I thought to myself.

“My hands.”

I did a quick one on both her palms.

“My face! Need forehead massage”

“Are you sure Papa and PoPo do this before bedtime?!?!”

She nodded.

Sigh.

Face massage.

“Mama. Now tummy!”

“Tummy?!” It’s never ending!! I rubbed her round tummy and ended it with a scratch.

“Nose, mama!”

“No one does nose massage!!! How do you do nose massage?!”

“Like this!” She squeezed her little button nose between her thumb and index finger.

“No I’m not going to do that! You are going to sleep now!!”

“Papa does it!!”

“Nonono! Sleep or you will miss your party tomorrow!!”

Later, in the evening I asked the hub incredulously,” Do you give her full body massage before bedtime, including her nose?!”

“Of course not. I only pat her on her tummy occasionally.”

DARN! Taken for a ride for a 3 year old!! Hmpf!! >.<

More of 宝贝’s bedtime stories.

宝贝 – The *Ge Tai Singer

宝贝 – The *Ge Tai Singer

宝贝 has been in a singing mood lately.  She hums to herself or launches into a gusto tune, whichever suits her at that point of time.

She was playing with her puzzle when she suddenly decided that the room was too quiet and she needed to jazz up the mood a little.

十八的姑娘一朵花呀 (English Translation: A lady at eighteen years blooms like a flower)

一朵花 (like a flower)

每个男人都想他呀 (Every man thinks of her)

都想他 (thinks of her)

姑娘长大不得了呀 (When she grows up, she will be incredible)

不得了 (incredible)

粉色的笑脸 (Pink smiling face)

粉色笑脸赛晚霞 (Pink smiling face like the colour of dusk)

啊 姑娘十八一朵花 (A lady at eighteen blooms like a flower)

一朵花 (like a flower)

Whaaat???!! Her “Every man thinks of her” stunned me…. This song is one of the oldies (aka my parent’s era).  Although I don’t really know the lyrics of the entire song, but it certainly didn’t sound very right to me… In fact it sounded a little “r-rated” to me, considering that it’s from a 3 yr old.

Me : Who taught you this song??

宝贝: 婆婆. (Grandma)

Me: Are you sure you are singing it correctly?!

宝贝: Of course! (rolled her eyes at me. She ROLLED her eyes at moi?!!) Following which, she did another heart wrenching rendition of the song… with her head swaying from side to side.

Unconvinced, I googled the song… this is the correct version of the song.  It certainly is very very different from the version she’s singing.

十八的姑娘一朵花 (A lady at eighteen blooms like a flower)

一朵花 (like a flower)

眉毛弯弯眼睛大 (arched eyebrows with large eyes)

眼睛大 (large eyes)

红红的嘴唇雪白牙 (with lips bright red and teeth snow white)

雪白牙 (teeth snow white)

粉色的笑脸 (Pink smiling face)

粉色笑脸赛晚霞 (Pink smiling face like the colour of dusk)

啊 姑娘十八一朵花 (A lady at eighteen blooms like a flower)

一朵花 (like a flower)

See! I knew it! My mom has been teaching 宝贝 “r-rated” songs!! What happened to nursery rhymes and children’s songs??? Sigh… Meanwhile 宝贝 is still singing in the foreground like a *”ge tai” singer.  I hope the neighbours have their earplugs on.

*ge tai = 歌台.  Typically during the 7th month, many ge tais performances are staged all over Singapore.  “to entertain the spirits” The ge tai singers typically sing oldies, hokkien songs etc.

For the original version of the song, please click on this youtube…

 

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After running through the entire song, I realised that the lyrics were indeed correct!! It’s just that they belong to the next stanza. So she’s mixed and matched the lyrics from all 3 stanzas… =.=”

宝贝-The Discipline Mistress

宝贝-The Discipline Mistress

Early in the morning…

宝贝: Has *Didi been kicking you?
Me: Erm no. I think he’s still sleeping.
宝贝 (nodding her head, patting The Tummy gently) : GOOD job!
Hmmm… The Tummy felt very pleased from her praise…

While I was reading to her,

Me: Owww!
宝贝: what happened??
Me: He kicked me.
宝贝 (with a very stern look at The Tummy, hands on her waist): YOU are NOT listening. BAD job!
The Tummy felt thoroughly chastised.

I felt like I was the 3rd party intruding in her conversation with The Tummy. =.=”

*Didi = Little Brother

A Giraffe and a Camel?!

A Giraffe and a Camel?!

Wanted to share this because I found it pretty hilarious…

宝贝 was holding the leash of her toy camel and dragging it around the living room.  She does that quite often all the time, pretending that she’s walking her dog.. =.=” But this time, seated on her camel was a …. giraffe?!

Me : What are you doing? Why is the giraffe sitting on the camel??

宝贝: We are taking a walk and the giraffe is tired…. so it’s riding the camel.

Me : (ah ok…) Where are you going to?

宝贝: We are going to Shop n Save (there’s a shop n save about 5 mins walk away.  My dad brings her there quite often for grocery shopping.) to buy pears.

Me : O.o

I felt so tickled by the sight of the giraffe on the camel and her most unusual story…. My girl is growing up, she brings her pets shopping for pears!!