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Swiss Air – Disappointing is an understatement!

Swiss Air – Disappointing is an understatement!

My first time on Swiss Air, probably my last time. Unless, it’s on a business trip and it happens to be the only suitable airline.  Or else… NAH AH!!

I have never taken Swiss Air before, although I have taken quite a many other ones.  Due to the recent air disasters, my company decided to split the whole group of us into 2 different flights – Swiss Air or Singapore Airlines.  Obviously, everyone wanted the Singapore Airline flight…. so we had to “lucky draw” the air ticket.  Lucky me ended up with Swiss Air. (That’s precisely why I stay away from casinos!)  I just thought that, since it was a pick between the 2 airlines, the quality and standard of the 2 airlines should be pretty close.  Although my brother warned me about Swiss Air, having taken it last year.

And Boy! I was utterly WRONG in my assumption. It’s far from the standard of Singapore Airlines.

Listing my reasons in descending order of importance :

9. Earphones?!

The first that struck me when I boarded the plane was, huh?! Earphones?! That’s so 20th century! Most of the flights which I have taken in the recent years have since switched to headphones.  And why am I picking on such nitty gritties? Well, a plane’s a plane.  I can’t inspect the engine so I can only pick on the small stuff.  That’s what makes the whole consumer experience right?

8. No overnight bag

This is the FIRST airline.  FIRST! That doesn’t provide an overnight bag for a long overnight flight! Serious! Luckily, I remembered to bring my own toothbrush.

7. No socket for gadget charging

Ok, this is a very recent thingy.  I have only seen this in the planes which I have taken this year. That’s why it’s low on importance, yah?

6. No moisturiser or amenities in the toilet.

So far, all the airlines that I have taken (except for Scoot, Asia Air, not counted lar!! Budget airlines!! Budget leh!) have moisturisers in the toilets. So giam siap meh?? It’s not like we are paying peanuts??

5. Call buttons are for show

You can press the call attendant button for the entire flight and no one will appear.  I highly suspect that they are simply put there for decorative purposes.

4. Not allowed to pick seats during online purchase of air tickets.

I have been buying my air tickets online.  Heck! I have been buying almost everything online!! I am an avid online shopper! This is the first time, in recent years, that when I buy air tickets online that I am unable to pick my seats. Especially when I am buying a ticket that has a child no-seat ticket attached to it.  Usually the front row seats can be picked.  But to give the airline the credit, they did give us a front row seat for that particular ticket at the “manual” check in counter at the airport.

3. No baby food prepared

Of course Scoot didn’t have that… Budget airline.  I took SQ for the past few times when I was travelling with a baby.  They even gave us a few jars of baby food to pick from and even warmed them up for us.  Ok ok… don’t compare with SQ huh?? So discriminating arh? Ok ok… I try not to..

2. Only one cup of milk

I asked for milk for my girl.  The flight attendant whipped out a little 250ml bottle of milk and starting to open it to pour it out into a glass.  I told her, “Thanks, but you don’t need to pour it out.  She can drink it out of the bottle directly.” Her reply really caught me off-guard.

“Sorry! I can’t give you the whole bottle of milk. Other people may want milk too.  I only have 4 bottles.” What the heck?! 4 bottles of 250ml of milk for half the plane?! That’s a miserable 1l of milk?! I took a sip of the milk. Nothing special leh.  In fact, Meiji milk tastes better. Giam ganah to the max!!!

1. This is the BIGGEST reason that put me off Swiss Air flights! ATTITUDE!!!

Waaa! When I think about it now, as I’m blogging about it, it gets me worked up again. Chill chill! Or else high blood pressure ya?

What do you do when you press the decorative call button for forever and no one comes, while your toddler is screaming his head off, with the hub struggling to contain and prevent him from kicking the dinner tray over, trays on the pulled-out table, and your preschooler suddenly declares, in the midst of the chaos that she MUST go to the toilet now, or else….!!!

So, while I was trying to balance 3 overflowing dinner trays and trying to clear a path for my daughter to visit the toilet, I spied a recess between my seat (I was sitting on the last row) and the wall.  Instinctively, I stacked the 3 trays on top of one another securely on the floor in that recess.  Ok.. problem solved.  Hub was still struggling with screaming toddler, but that’s his problem as he was sitting in the section behind us, separated by a wall. Preschooler was safely back in her seat, after her toilet expedition.

The flight attendant (the same one who refused to give me milk, but ok, that’s not her fault, it’s logistics) came by with her food trolley to clear all the trays. Obviously my tables were empty. In her school teacher voice, she asked,”Where are your trays?”

“Behind me.” I pointed to the neatly stacked trays on the floor behind my seat.

She glared at me, for at least 1 minute (I thought her eyes were going to pop out from their sockets under the pressure), huffed and pushed her trolley away without clearing the trays.  Oh well, I thought, don’t want to clear, not my problem…

A while later, she came back (probably after depositing her trolley). She stood over me and glowered at me, “next time don’t put your trays there!” It was the tone and the words which got to me. I gave her my look-at-her-up-and-down look and said,”My daughter needed to go to the toilet and there was nowhere else to put the trays.”

She continued with her laser-glare while she picked up the trays.

Wa lau eh! That’s the worst service I have ever received!! Super pissed off! The plane can be void of amenities, but bad service is something that gets my hackles up! Come to think of it, I should have taken the cutlery and cups and dishes apart and lay them on the floor so that she had to pack everything together before she could clear the trays. But then again, I won’t be setting a good example for my daughter. Sigh! How I wish I am not a mother and I can do all these nasty things! Couldn’t even swear at her! Must preserve my good mother image… What a sacrifice!

Ok… That’s it.  Rant over! On with my wonderful holiday! Just no more Swiss Air for me after this trip! Don’t let me see her on my return flight siah!!! Or else… I will…. keep pressing the call button and make her serve me 100 times! Hey wait! The call button is gei one… Must think of something else to torture her with!

Say say only lah…