Recently I had dinner with a friend who will be leaving Singapore in a few days to join her boyfriend in Uk.
“Would you take a shot at this chance for happiness or give it up and stay in Singapore for your parents?” She posed this question to me.
Some background on this. She went on a trip to UK to squat in the hotel room of her friend who was there on a business trip. While she was there, an acquaintance who lived there met up with her and brought her around. During these short few days, she fell deeply in love with him.
Gosh! This felt like a scene from one of the romance novels which I read when I was a teenager (no time for them now… Too busy reading parenting books…)
I received a message from her while she was there, declaring her love for a mere acquaintance. I was incredulous. For I can never foresee such a thing happening to me.
And now she’s giving up everything here to join him in UK.
“I can’t imagine such a thing happening to me so I can’t answer your question!”
“Bah! You are such a bore!”
“I told my parents that I’m going there to work.”
“Oh pulease… Why would they believe it?! So easy to find work there?? Why don’t you just tell them the truth??”
“They can’t handle the truth. They’d think I’m abandoning them. ”
“But you are!” (That’s me. Miss smart mouth. Saying there before I gave it a deeper thought. But hey! Why be hypocritical about it? Call a spade a spade!”
She sulked. “It’s my one shot at happiness. Wouldn’t you do that??”
After that, I thought about it long and hard. Would I? Now, definitely not. 20 years back? I doubt so either.
My world used to be just black and white. Now it’s filled shades of grey.
There’s no right or wrong. It all boils down to choices. You choose either your love or your parents. In this case she chose love. And ultimately I’m sure if she’s happy so would her parents. Every parent would want happiness for her child.
But, being a mother now, I can’t imagine this happening to my daughter. If my daughter tells me that she’s going to live with a man she knows for only a week, I would be worried sick. What the heck! Sell you away also no help will come!! And not to mention being heartbroken. That I would mean so little with all my love compared to someone she’s only known for days.
But as children, we always tend to be self centred and take our parents for granted. It’s only when I’ve become a mother myself that I can appreciate my parents’ unconditional love.
As for my friend, I give her my blessings and truly hope that this love that she’s sacrificed so much for will come to fruition.