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Day: September 16, 2012

Best Joke I’ve Read in a Loooong While

Best Joke I’ve Read in a Loooong While

Hahaha. This must be the best joke I’ve read in a really loooong while that I MUST share it with everyone.

Best Joke of the Decade!

The author of the article is obviously trying to make up his mind whether he’s trying to compliment or discredit Singapore. I dare say that he’s probably still 2 minds about it while he’s writing it.

It’s an honor to know that our little “Pacific Isle” warranted such attention. I hope he isn’t mixing us up with one of the Pacific Islands. He should have brushed up on his geography. This brings me back to people I’ve come across during my backpacking trips. Many Americans and Europeans I’ve met thought Singapore was either 1. Part of China 2. Part of Malaysia. They were speaking with a knowing, patronizing air. Well, Singapore is an island in the Pacific Ocean. Let’s just give him the benefit of the doubt. After all he’s a tabloid writer and not a geography teacher!!

But critics say the sparkling lights and glass facades mask a reality of government control and social suppression

Gosh! You’ve no idea how suppressed I’m feeling, writing this blog. Pssst… I’m writing this under my blanket on my bed! Don’t tell anyone!! So are the rest of the contributors to “The Temasek Review”, “the online citizen” and the whathaveyous.. Oh wait! They may be writing in the privacies of their toilet cubicles!!

Male homosexuality is illegal, a gathering of five or more people requires an official permit and outstaying a visa can result in three strokes of the cane

Hmmm… I wonder how the pink dot movement became so open when male homosexuality is illegal?? I wonder if the author has any concrete number on the number of male homosexuals who have been found guilty and punished in Singapore?! Ahhh his maths must be hovering around the same standard as his geography.

Every time we hold a karaoke session with more than 5 people we had to apply for a permit from the government. :). Just kidding. No wonder our favourite pastime is playing mahjong!!

And does the UK welcome people with open arms when they overstay their visas? Maybe they do, giving them 3 kisses instead of 3 strokes of caning. I need to read up on the uk immigration law. Thank goodness I’m not a professional journalist!!

Pornography and littering both carry hefty fines while the unauthorised use of a wifi internet connection is considered hacking and can end in jail

And what’s wrong with fining these people? You litter you pay or you jolly well eat up your rubbish?? Besides how are we going to pay for the cleaners?? Sigh. I guess if he doesn’t quote the most serious term of any crime the news is not sensational enough. Of course go to jail lah!!! Most serious one Mah!!!! Aiyo don’t they send people to jail in other parts of the world for ANYTHING?!

I, for one, welcome the chewing gum ban. I’ve remembered countless times when chewing gums had ruined my favourite dresses or shoes. And seriously does anyone die from not being able to chew gum?! Duh! Get a life!! And I can’t understand why everyone is so fixated on this ban?! Do they own shares in Wrigley’s??

But I kind of like the photos. Good enough for the Singapore Tourism Board. Nice photography there!! And of course check out the comments. There are so many comments contradicting the views of the writer that they have to close the thread. Sigh. Talk about the “freedom of speech and expression”. Double standard rule here.

If you are feeling bored on a Sunday afternoon and are dying for a joke, it makes a good read.