I have just finished the first chapter of Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends & Influence People”, in my endeavour to become a better person. One gold nugget which I have gleaned from the first few pages is :
Don’t criticize, condemn or complain – Dale Carnegie
In front of the said person. – Ah Wei
By criticizing people, according to Dale, would not turn them towards the right path, but would only fuel their determination to go against you. Ahh…! Therefore, never never never do that.
On the other hand, if you are not honest with yourself, you will probably suffer internal injuries from suppressing your feelings. Mark Twain (if you do not recognise this famous author, you have just earned the right to kick yourself in the butt, as I was saying… ) had a fiery hot temper and had written stinging letters to people who have incurred his wrath. They allowed him to let off steam (saving himself some internal injuries) and the letters did not do anyone any harm, because his wife had secretly lifted them from his mail. See, they were never sent.
From this excellent example, I conclude that, it’s alright to criticize, complain and condemn people, so that you don’t go crazy from suppressing your feelings, as long as the said people are unaware.
Therefore, to be a better person, I shall continue to criticize, complain and condemn people (it’s stressful to work in little Old Singapore) behind their backs, as long as they are unaware of it!