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Day: February 18, 2004

When will I ever get well?! Sigh…

When will I ever get well?! Sigh…

About a year and a half ago, it was diagnosed that I had a thyroid condition. It was a devastating piece of news as I had always considered myself a very healthy person. Also, I couldn’t accept that there was actually something wrong with me….. I was also rather upset that I hadn’t discovered it sooner as I had been staying alone for almost a year and being a rather careless person, I paid little attention to my appearance. The symptoms were all there – the sudden increase in weight (to a girl, getting fat is worse than death), the swell around the neck, the bulging of my eyes, the trembling of my hands…. Not only that, when left untreated, it was life-threatening.

Later, I discovered that it’s actually a rather common ailment as everyone started confessing to knowing an aunt, a relative or friend having it. OK.. So a lot of people out there had it as well… Oh well, at least it’s not cancer….

So I dutifully went for the ritual blood test, took the horrible medicine every day, gave up my favourite pastime – diving…. After a year, the symptoms started to subside, except for my eyes…. (So if you see someone with 2 eyeballs bulging from the sockets, that’s me). The doctor said that they may never revert back to their original position, but the condition’s improving. OK ok, I can accept that… I’ve always wanted bigger eyes, haven’t I?!

Half a year ago, the blood count went back to normal. I was estactic. I was finally back to normal. If the next blood count was normal too, then I was on the road of recovery. Everything looked so hopeful…

I just took my blood test yesterday, another big fat test tube of blood. The doctor just called to give me the bad news. Sigh… The condition has worsened and I have to increase my daily dosage…. I thought I would have been immuned to this kind of bad news after rounds and rounds of blood tests etc. But, still, I can’t help but feel depressed that after a hopeful 6 months, I’m still not well yet. Ok, and very disappointed as well…

Most of the time, I just bitch a lot on the blog. Frustrations and anger… but this must be the most depressing posting I have ever made…. (Considering that I was too (and even more) depressed the first time round to even record the outcome of my very first blood test.)